Taking initiative will get folks in tune with guitar goal

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/01/2023 (1316 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My dad plays guitar in a band, and I want to be like that. I can’t learn from my father because he’s too busy with his day job, and then often playing at night. I also don’t want to make him feel like he has to teach me.

I’d like to ask his bass player to teach me, but then my dad might have hurt feelings. My mom has always told him not to “push his kids” into a band. What can I do?

— Guitar Lover, Winnipeg

Dear Guitar Lover: You may need to start up a neighbourhood snow-clearing business and save up some money for a guitar and your first lessons. A motivated kid putting his own money on the line earns his parents’ respect and shows them he’s serious about what he’s saving for.

It makes for a far different situation than their kid just thinking “It’d be cool” to be a musician.

To get started, check out secondhand shops or online resources like Kijiji for what a starter guitar will cost. Music teachers at your school, as well as your dad and his friends, will know of local instructor with good reputations. Then you’ll have something concrete to go after. Even if your folks offer to help out with lessons, insist on pitching in for a portion of the costs to prove you’re serious — and to keep yourself practising harder. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I separated after Christmas, and the deal was we’d get together on Valentine’s Day for dinner and a talk at her new place. I know she’s planning a big heart-to-heart and one of her famous make-things-right seductions. However, I already know I don’t want to get back together. I’m not feeling any pain over living apart. In fact, I love it! I feel free for the first time in years.

I don’t have a girlfriend yet, but I’ve been going to the gym every day and have already lost about 10 pounds built muscle.

I tried to get out of this upcoming talk last night when she called, but she said, “Our marriage deserves every chance!” I thought to myself, “It had every chance already. Why waste any more time?” Please help!

— Not Interested Anymore, River Heights

Dear Not Interested: Your almost ex-wife needs to know you won’t be coming over, and the sooner the better. She needs to hear your frank opinion after this time apart, but do it over the phone — which is safer for you. It’s time for her to get over the idea of a dream marriage, because you are definitely finished.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I slapped my sister’s face, and I left a red handprint. When Mom got home a half hour later, the red marks were still there. I got grounded for a whole month! Mom wouldn’t even listen to why I slapped that little “witch.” I had good reason because she called me three disgusting and dirty names. Mom would have slapped her for that herself!

— Unfair Punishment? St. James

Dear Unfair: The blow you dealt was no small tap, since it left your hand-print for a half hour. In the legal world, you’re automatically in a lot more trouble if you hit or “assault” someone, than if you call them dirty names. It’s time everybody stopped the verbal and physical violence in your house and learned to cool off and talk things out.

Not going to happen in million years? School counsellors can often help you handle problems with family members if things at home are continuing to be tense and stressful.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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