Barbed comment cuts this fling’s chances

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This article was published 30/01/2024 (930 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve never wanted to kiss a guy with a beard and moustache before, but I made an exception last weekend. It felt like kissing a mop.

I made a joke about the mop and asked if he would ever consider shaving for the right woman. He said not for the right woman and not for the best-looking man on Earth, either.

What was that supposed to mean? Is he bisexual? I’m stuck living up north and there aren’t a lot of available guys up here, until the weather breaks. Should I try to get over my first impression of this guy and give him another try?

— Lonely in the Cold, northern Manitoba

Dear Lonely: You won’t be getting a second chance to kiss the human mop. Some people love the feeling of a manly beard — but not you, and he knows it. This guy took offence to your comment about the feel of his kiss and the beard he took the time to grow.

The insult has been made and the damage done, which is why he stuck it to you with a barbed comment containing the “best-looking man” reference. It’s highly unlikely it was a confession of bisexuality.

You can be sure of this much: he won’t be back, and that’s a good thing. The only thing worse than being lonely would be choosing a bad match and trying to hang in there until the spring thaw.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend’s hot younger brother came home for Christmas. This guy has everything my boyfriend does not — he’s got a super-fit body, is a great guitar-player and has an amazing singing voice. I’m so hot for him and can’t get him out of my mind now that he’s gone back home to Quebec.

I constantly dream about him after our stolen New Year’s Eve kiss on the porch, a kiss that went on and on. We had been drinking a lot, but I can’t get him out of my mind. I feel like I should drop my guy, as I’m always thinking about his younger brother — even when we’re having sex.

It’s more than a foolish crush for me. I admire the guy’s personality, looks and everything else about him.

The trouble is, he totally idolizes his big brother. He actually felt guilty about the kiss we had and swore me to secrecy. Still, I know he likes me a lot.

How can I win in this situation and end up with the right brother? He’s coming back again in March and I’m counting the weeks. I need to get myself free, but if I break up with the older brother, will I even get to see the younger one again? Please help.

— So Mixed Up, North Kildonan

Dear Mixed Up: First, call the younger brother to get a read on what he’s feeling about you. He might tell you it was just a drunken New Year’s kiss and that it meant nothing to him and he can hardly remember it. Or, he may have felt what you felt after being around you during the visit.

Still, be aware of the fact this younger sibling loves his big brother. You’re doomed to lose in this competition if he has to choose.

Your best hope is the older brother breaks up with you, says he noticed the crush and realized he didn’t care that much and his younger brother is welcome to you. The chances of this? Sadly for you, not good at all.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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