Impulse theft tough to shake from conscience

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This article was published 19/03/2024 (931 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I stole something when I was drunk at a party recently — a small musical instrument — and it’s making me feel sick now. I can’t use it because people might know it’s this guy’s. I can’t practise with it because it makes me feel guilty.

I also can’t make myself take it back to him and confess either because he’s a not a nice guy and who knows what he’d do to my face. What do you suggest?

— Stealer’s Remorse, Manitoba

Dear Stealer’s Remorse: With the way you describe the man, this obviously isn’t a case of a broken friendship. Since a confession and apology are not in the cards anyway, just make it possible for this guy to get his instrument back.

Get it back to him any way you can, but maybe just don’t leave it on his step because someone else might come along and take it. If you know where he lives, maybe you can slip it into his backyard or mailbox. Good luck.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was crazy in love with my boyfriend at the end of high school and he wanted to make love to me in the worst way — or the best. But I was too scared. I didn’t see my family doctor about birth control and I didn’t trust condoms, either.

In the end, I lost my first love to another girl who wanted all of him. I’m sure he fulfilled his dream — he was raring to go.

I was totally crushed to be dumped. I ended up going away to school after high school and got two degrees. I recently moved back to Manitoba and you’ll never guess who’s working in the same medical centre as I am.

When I ran into him, he said in a strange voice, “So, we meet again.” He asked what I was doing there and I told him about my job.

He went cold and said, “Gotta get moving,” and walked off.

The next time I ran into him, we were in a meeting. He stood up to speak and he was surprisingly impressive. I felt my defences coming down. I saw him afterwards and couldn’t help noticing he wasn’t wearing a ring. Last night, I found out through a spy at work that he’s recently single.

That had me fantasizing about him half the night, but this time as an adult woman. I want to see him again, all of him, and alone. What should I do?

— Big Girl Now, Winnipeg

Dear Big Girl Now: First, do a bit more research to confirm your ex-BF is single. If he has just started dating someone else, let your fantasy go — for now. Just keep track of him loosely. You’re bound to run into each other at work. When you do, forget making smart remarks and try to relax.

Change up your tactics and be your sweet old self — the one he’ll be able to recognize. Ask him for a coffee and forget trying to prove to him you’re a mature, erotic woman now. He will have figured that out.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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