Age gap is nobody’s business but your own

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/04/2024 (879 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m dating a man 12 years older than me and my family is acting weird and suspicious. I don’t think it should matter, considering I’m a 34-year-old single woman and can make decisions for myself!

My new guy is a wonderful man with a great career and a sharp sense of humour. I’m falling head-over-heels. But even though my mother lives 10 blocks away, she’s sending me texts every few days, with links to blogs about how dating older men is a very bad idea. My dad seems to be on board with her, and told me, “Something must be wrong with this guy.”

I don’t see my new man as all that much older than me, and there’s nothing wrong with him. Please help me deal with my interfering parents!

— Not a Child, Charleswood

Dear Not a Child: Send your mother’s rude “text bombs” back to her in one big message. Tell her that because of them you’re limiting communication with her to face-to-face or over-the-phone from now on. She won’t be happy, because she’ll have to be up close and personal when she’s doling out any more rude comments. Worse, she’ll get your immediate responses!

Step 2: Bring your new man over to meet your mom, with no warning. He’s old enough and experienced enough to be handle her. If he cowers though, you’ll have some thinking to do.

One of the advantages of an older man is that he should be able to handle difficult situations with some skill — but that doesn’t mean you get to hide behind your sweetheart. At 34, you should be firmly standing up to your parents, on your own.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in a big wedding party and will be standing up for my close buddy. The problem? I just met and totally fell for a new woman. Fortunately, my girlfriend of three years, who is also in the wedding party, is in the process of breaking us up, so I will have my freedom after the wedding.

But suddenly last night my new lady told me she doesn’t trust me, because I’m “sneaking around” to see her already. I can’t win. What should I do? At this rate, I may end up with nobody!

— Can’t Win, St. Boniface

Dear Can’t Win: Love is not a game of musical chairs, my friend! Look, you and the new woman are already starting off on the sly, so neither one of you is going to feel a great deal of trust right now. Are you prepared for a sneaky beginning to a new romantic relationship? They generally don’t last long.

You’d be better to start off with a brand-new mate, down the road. But can you bear the feeling of being on your own? This would be a good time to get closer with friends of both sexes so you don’t feel so desperate to hang on to just “any” new woman, to have a close person in your life. Take your time, and look for a real love that can last!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography