Doc can help your dear’s ear fears disappear

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/05/2024 (835 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have big “Dumbo” ears, and I really want to get them fixed now! Honest to God, they look like handles on either side of my head, and you can’t imagine the rude comments I have endured. My husband says he thinks they’re “cute” but I wear my hair to cover them, and can never wear it swept back off my face, no matter how hot it is.

My guy says he’s not going to support anything regarding unnecessary surgery for someone he loves, and any kind of risk to them. Sweet sentiment, but I just want to get rid of my giant ears!

— Sad Dumbo, Winnipeg

Dear Dumbo: Your husband is motivated by his great love for you and the thought that your existence might be in danger, when you’re put under during surgery. You can’t say anything more at this point that’s going to make any difference — he’s just plain scared.

Your husband needs to attend an appointment with you and the doctor who might be involved to find out what kind of risk there actually will be. That might be enough to allay his fears — and it might not.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My younger sister is a big pain in the butt who copies my whole life. I became a nurse, so now she’s in nurse training. I am dating a handsome, darker-skinned man, and now she is dating a guy of a similar background she met through my boyfriend.

I moved to a different part of the city to get away from my sister, and she’s just rented a small suite in my apartment building, without asking me first. Of all the nerve! I’d told her not to move out of our mom’s place and now she’s going to be living on the floor below me.

When I yelled at her, she cried and said, “I won’t be any trouble, I promise. I just need to live near you. I can’t say why. ” I know she’s going to be at my door all the time. She even buys clothes that look just like mine.

Deep down, I love her as my little sister, but this is way too much togetherness. I feel smothered, and moving into my block now makes it much worse. How am I supposed to handle her crazy behaviour?

— Feeling Smothered, Osborne Village

Dear Smothered: Your younger sister seems to be afraid of something or someone, and that situation needs to come out into the open and be addressed in a way that allows her to finally break free. Then, she may be able to stop following and clinging to you.

This extreme dependency situation isn’t going to change without counselling for both two of you. If you ask her to join you for some sessions with a psychologist, you know she’ll do it, as she’d do anything for you. Be ready to shell out some important money here, and be willing to do so without being nasty to your younger sibling.

This would also be a good time to ask your mother what she may know about the situation, and hasn’t revealed to you. Also, where is your father in all this?

This is definitely the time to help the sister who loves you so desperately, and you will be very glad you offered up your help to get to the bottom of the problem.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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