Skip beach if you can’t bear mate’s exhibitionism

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This article was published 09/07/2024 (768 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend thinks she’s the sexiest thing on two legs. At almost six-feet tall, her long, tanned legs are amazing, but I’m sick to death when she shows them off to all the guys at the beach.

We rented a cabin last weekend and on the first day at the beach, she positioned herself on a reclining chair in the sun in her bright yellow bikini. Then she made a spectacle of herself, putting on tanning lotion and constantly changing her leg positions to get attention.

Finally, she went for a stroll at the water’s edge. The guys were all gawking and trying to talk to her. I walked up to her and told her she was embarrassing the both of us.

She said if I didn’t like it I could go back to the cabin. So I drove back there and then picked her up from the beach three hours later. I was mad.

We had a terrible night of fighting, and went home early the next morning. She won’t take my calls now that we’re back in the city.

But the thing is, I really love her — and her beautiful body. This fight is not a big enough reason to break up, is it? Please help.

— Sorry for Yelling, East Kildonan

Dear Sorry for Yelling: At any beach with sun-worshippers there are generally a few people putting themselves on proud display. Unfortunately for you, your girlfriend is one of them.

You’re not the right guy to go with her to a beach where all the other guys will be gawking at her. It makes you feel too jealous and angry to have any fun with her.

If she ever answers your calls, apologize, admit you were a fool and see if you can move on. Then, in the future, it would be better if she goes to the beach with a bunch of girlfriends where she can display her legs without hurting you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband has become such a recluse that I never have a partner for anything but sex. He actually loved COVID because he finally had a respectable reason to stay home all the time.

Now COVID has abated, he continues to work remotely eight hours a day from his office upstairs. He also works out on the exercise machines in the basement to stay in decent shape.

I used to enjoy going out shopping together for groceries, clothing, hardware items — you-name-it — but he insists on ordering online now and still wants our groceries delivered. He also has a mobile hairstylist who comes in and cuts his hair in our kitchen.

The only time he leaves the house is to venture into our fenced backyard to tan and get some vitamin D.

In a big fight this week, I asked him why he bothers with the tanning and haircuts when nobody sees him anymore, and he said that I see him and he wanted to look good for me.

He is always nice to me and calls me his princess, but what kind of life is this for me if I have to stay trapped with him inside the walls of this castle?

I have never stopped loving him, but I think he may be a victim of some kind of long COVID. Please advise me. I love him, but It’s getting so bad I think I may have to leave him for my own sanity.

— Need to Go Out. St. James

Dear Go Out: Not surprisingly there was an increase of agoraphobia during active COVID times. That’s an anxiety disorder where people are afraid to go out of their safe place and into the world. People may feel frightened, helpless and worried sick they’ll embarrass themselves by being upset and out of control if they’re out.

Some people, such as your husband, haven’t been able to get past those fears as COVID abated and are still avoiding public spaces.

Your husband may be thinking to himself, “Why risk getting COVID when it’s still out there somewhere? I’ll just avoid it by staying home and ordering everything in.”

Get in touch with your husband’s physician and reveal what’s going on. It’s likely the doctor will set up a phone appointment with your man. The doctor may hook him up with a psychiatrist or psychologist (perhaps online at first, if necessary) for therapy sessions. The doctor might also prescribe anti-anxiety medication, which can reduce fear when venturing out of one’s home.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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