Harbouring decades-old grudge has no upside

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This article was published 31/01/2025 (549 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When I was a young guy, I was actually tall and handsome. I once dated a beautiful red-haired woman, who asked me to take her out for dinner. Afterward, she went straight back to her boyfriend and told him. He was so jealous, he married her very soon after. My looks were used as a lever!

Lucky for me, the guy finally died 40 years later. (Just joking!) In any case, I met that same red-haired woman again at a seniors’ singles event recently, and she said laughingly, “Why don’t you take me out for dinner, now that the coast is clear?” I just smiled and said, “I’ll have to think about it.” Miss L., am I not supposed to feel insulted she used me, even now that all this time has passed? And why should I have to pay for her dinner when she asked me?

Am I just getting over-sensitive now I’m older? My dear deceased wife was never like her.

— Been Around, East Kildonan

Dear Been Around: Why not play hard-to-get with this woman, but be funny about it? When you run into her again, tease her by saying: “You used my good looks to get yourself a husband last time. Who are you after these days?” She’ll probably laugh, but if she gets huffy, so what?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I want to teach our young kids the joy of winter skiing at a young age. But they tend to throw up on long car rides, so we have to limit our driving to less than an hour when we go anywhere. Skiing is close to the hearts of both my husband and me, as that’s where we first met — on top of a ski hill. Please help!

— Ski Bunny, The Maples

Dear Ski Bunny: Why not try some close local options such Springhill Winter Sports Park? Both are quite near the city and offer lessons on easy slopes, plus snowboarding.

If your kids enjoy skiing, you can then ramp up the size of the hills once their tummies settle down for a bit more time on the highway. Holiday Mountain is located about two hours from Winnipeg in La Rivière, with food, and motel rental units. That can offer a family a couple days of skiing and relaxing together. Check out their website. Another option a bit further afield is Asessippi Ski Resort in Westman. Good luck getting your little ones into skiing!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a woman in the middle of a terrible heartbreak. I’m planning to beg my ex for another chance, but I’m still not recovered enough. I know my ex’s “new woman” by sight. I foolishly drove to her house last night to try to talk to her. I just got a good glimpse of her walking out to her car and left.

I’m so anxious and I know I need to cope better. I’m not sleeping much at night and I’m going to lose a good job I love if I’m foolish. Please help! What can I do to get past this breakup and get strong again?

— Broken-Hearted, Winnipeg

Dear Broken-Hearted: You need professional help so you can get back to feeling better and hold on to your job. You may have a group insurance plan at work so check that out this week. Explain that you’ve encountered a personal problem and need some help to feel better emotionally.

Your physician can also help you find counselling. Your doc may also prescribe something right off the hop, to help you with your anxious feelings. There are other things you can do starting right now to ease the anxiety, such as seeing more of close friends and family, eating nutritiously, exercising and getting outdoors and reading books that inspire you and help boost you emotionally.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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