Don’t despair, seek mate with similar work ethic

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This article was published 30/01/2025 (605 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m flat-out lonely and miserable since my husband left me, but I’m realizing I don’t want another man. I think I’d rather have a woman again! I had a passionate lesbian relationship in my early 20s, but aside from vigorous sex, that lazy girl just studied and cooked.

Her family was rich, so she could always throw in her half of the rent and expenses, and didn’t need to get a job. Some people’s kids, eh? She was always at home diddling around, making crafts for our place. In time, the whole apartment was changed to reflect her tastes, not mine.

I complained bitterly! Then she ended up meeting a crafty woman from her way-back “girls’ school“ and finally moved off with her. She left me with the whole rent!

But don’t cry for me — soon I met a sweet guy. We had great sex together, but it wasn’t a much better home situation, because we lived on burgers, beer and my earnings. He was never home and didn’t make much money.

Now that I’ve experienced living with both sexes, I’m turned off. I don’t want another live-in lover. Yet, I don’t want to be so lonely every night either!

— Bisexual Worker Bee, central Manitoba

Dear Worker Bee: One of the loneliest feelings in life is continuing to live with a partner where there’s no warmth, passion, help or love. Your problem is you have never known what a great match would feel like.

Bottom line? You need to find a happy “worker-bee” type person who is on your financial level, with a solid work ethic — male or female. Then you two active partners could enjoy fun sports and leisure activities together, including happy sexual passion.

When you’re happy at the end of the day, a romp comes naturally and easily — like a celebration!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is just a suggestion for “Howling Dilemma” who wrote you asking about how to get bed space back from a first dog, before getting a second one.

My dog would also push me out of bed with her strong legs until I put her dog bed on the bed beside me. It seemed to give her a sense of boundary. Now she stays in her bed, and I get to keep my space.

It works also with a second person in the bed, by just putting the dog bed near the bottom of the queen-sized bed, although a king-sized bed would be preferable. It may be worth a try!

— Been There, River Heights

Dear Been There: The sleepless dog owner who wrote recently mentioned he lives on a whole acreage all alone, except for his dog who pushes with his legs in the bed. But, there’d certainly be enough physical room for two dogs to romp around an acreage and get nicely tired out. It would also mean natural company for both pooches indoors when their owner is gone from the property.

Most dogs are social and would love a canine buddy to sleep with, and wouldn’t be as clingy to their humans. But it all depends on the dog owner.

Should a romantic human partner happen along, it could be a bit of a squeeze in your bed setup. But then the dogs might be happy sharing a warm, fluffy dog bed together. The human couple could keep it outside the bedroom door for intimate private times.

After their lovemaking is over, they might invite their pets to come in and sleep together on the comfy canine bed for the rest of the night. It could work!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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