Mother’s Day about sincerity, not grandiosity

Opinion

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My Dad gives his wife big presents on Mother’s Day that far surpass anything us five kids could ever give her. Like, one year he gave her a little blue convertible sports car with a card on the windshield that read: “Congratulations! Best Mom in the World!”

Something else that’s kind of creepy to my mind is our old dad still calls his own wife “Mom,” not by her first name. That’s kind of creepy in my mind! We have tried to tell him how stupid that sounds, but he just says in his big, booming voice. “She’s the mother of my five big brats, and that’s you lucky guys, so shut up!”

How are we kids supposed to compete with him and his mega gifts for “Mom” every Mother’s Day?

— Oldest Son, Selkirk

Dear Oldest Son: Don’t compete, anymore, just relax and give Mom something personal and meaningful from you five “kids” and a card with sincere words on it from all of you. Give her something she will keep to look at and smile.

As for your dad calling his wife “Mom,” he means “the wonderful woman who is mother to my children,” boiled down to “Mom.” There’s nothing creepy about that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It’s Mother’s Day, and I’m the only son of a great single mom. Sadly, I don’t have much imagination for gifts. This year I finally have a good job, though, and some extra money, so I’m taking my mom out for lunch, and she’s excited. What do you suggest for a fun activity afterwards? When I asked my mom what she’d like to do, she said, “Just surprise me!”

— Son in Need of Great Idea, St. Boniface

Dear Son in Need: The plant nurseries are looking festive — like a beautiful spring party. So, go wild after lunch and take Mama to a couple of them. For instance, you’ll find a half-dozen in a row, way out south on St. Mary’s Rd. Tell her you’re treating her to a pot of beautiful spring flowers, and she can choose.

Don’t be afraid to be a little mushy. Bring a card already dedicated to her with words of your appreciation and love. You can smoothly attach it to the plant purchase, as you carry it to the car. Give it to her as you’re about to get in, saying, “Thanks for being a great mom!” Then take a photo of you two and the precious plant, to share with others. Nothing like sharing a happy moment, and highlighting your mother. She’ll love it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last year on Mother’s Day, my divorced mom told me she was marrying again and she did — last August. I really liked the guy — still do — but Mom has already moved on.

She is not the best mother-figure role model in the world. She has never really taught me and my sister how to find love and keep it.

I’m not out to punish Mom on Mother’s Day, but I haven’t made a plan with her to do anything either. What could I do, last-minute?

— Dragging My Feet, North Kildonan

Dear Dragging: Buy your mom a little gift, along with a fun card that simply says “Happy Mother’s Day.” Tell her you’re coming right over with your gift. That way you have honoured the occasion without putting on a big show that feels phoney.

Was she a good mom in other ways, if you ignore her partnering choices? Think about those experiences on the way over, and have a nice chat when you visit that evokes good feelings.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.