Put in time, effort to truly mend a grieving heart

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Love is a beautiful thing, and I had more than my fair share of it when my wife was alive. After she died, I was desperate to fill the big void she left. I quickly met another woman through my church, but, in her words, I was “too needy.” That really hurt. She pushed me away, saying she “couldn’t breathe.”

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/05/2025 (472 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Love is a beautiful thing, and I had more than my fair share of it when my wife was alive. After she died, I was desperate to fill the big void she left. I quickly met another woman through my church, but, in her words, I was “too needy.” That really hurt. She pushed me away, saying she “couldn’t breathe.”

The next woman I met was a new widow herself, and she started clinging to me, hoping I’d replace her husband. She even accidentally called me by her husband’s name a few times. I was so embarrassed — both for her and for me. I had to say goodbye to her in a hurry.

Finally, I broke down and went to grief counselling, and slowly got my feet back on the ground. Now I can date people and be a more “normal” guy.

I’m writing to tell your readers not be stupid like I was. If you had fallen off a horse and broke your leg, you’d go to a doctor and get it examined, X-rayed, and set in a cast. Then you’d get good physiotherapy, and end up walking properly again. Finally, you could get back up on the horse and ride again!

It takes a long time and it’s exactly the same with losing your spouse. You have to get your broken heart fixed as best you can, before you can start looking for new love. Thanks for listening.

— Smartened Up, Manitoba

Dear Smartened Up: Once the funeral is over and the family goes away, it can be a scary, empty, almost “unreal” feeling. The house echoes and sometimes your own life doesn’t feel worthwhile.

It’s not surprising you tried to start dating too soon, after losing your beloved wife. Grief counselling finally let you express your feelings with a person who has chosen this field of work and is prepared to deal with tears, hurt, confusion and anger. Luckily, medical doctors, psychologists, clergy and relationship counsellors are well aware of those special people, and can point the way for people in need of their help. Good luck to you in this new stage of your life.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-wife thinks she can dictate to me, and I just laugh in her face. She’s trying to do this by keeping the kids away from me. Frankly, it’s killing me.

Unfortunately, I rarely get to see my children now, as apparently I “glare” at my wife’s new younger boyfriend who’s always there. I probably do.

I really need to change this situation somehow, as it’s breaking my heart not to see my children. I’m tired of begging, and the kids often call me on the phone, wanting to “See Daddy!” I want to see them, too. Please help us see one another.

— Upset Father, St. Boniface

Dear Upset: You need to re-visit the legal agreement for visitation of your children with your lawyer. If you have a decent deal already — but it’s being ignored — you’ll need to point out the differences now, and re-work the agreement.

Is this a situation where your ex doesn’t want to see your face, except in dire circumstances? That can be arranged in way that you can still see the kids. You’ll need a new system to pick up and return the children that doesn’t include talking with your ex-wife at the door.

This is how it can work: In some cases, exes pull up and call the other parent on their cell, to simply say “I’m here,” and conduct any necessary short conversation about the kids. Then they get out and walk to the door to pick up the children.

Then you deliver them home in exactly the same way. It’s a chilly style of interacting, but just staying out of the house can make things go more smoothly for some estranged couples who share children.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Foreign workers at Manitoba hotel are owed $138K in unpaid wages and fees, labour board rules

Abiola Odutola 4 minute read Preview

Foreign workers at Manitoba hotel are owed $138K in unpaid wages and fees, labour board rules

Abiola Odutola 4 minute read Sunday, Aug. 30, 2026

BRANDON — The Manitoba Labour Board has ordered the Western Star All Suites Hotel to pay nearly $138,000 in unpaid wages and administrative fees after it dismissed the appeals involving three foreign workers employed by the company.

In a decision dated Aug. 25, the board ordered 6692452 Manitoba Ltd. (doing business as Western Star All Suites Hotel), 1638185 Alberta Ltd. and company director P.X. to pay a total of $137,915.79 to the Employment Standards Branch for wages owed to foreign workers S.J., J.B. and G.R.

The decision was edited to protect the personal information of the employees, who worked at a hotel, reportedly in Melita, at different times and also lived there during their employment.

The board stated the employees were owed wages after hearing evidence about long working hours, irregular payments, inadequate employment records and working conditions.

Read
Sunday, Aug. 30, 2026

Carney’s defence of Lake Ontario carries enormous weight

Niigaan Sinclair 4 minute read Preview

Carney’s defence of Lake Ontario carries enormous weight

Niigaan Sinclair 4 minute read Friday, Aug. 28, 2026

For centuries on Turtle Island (North America), explorers, map makers, and political leaders have erased Indigenous place names and substituted them — more often than not — with political, ethnocentric, and self-aggrandizing names.

In recent years, a few places on the continent have had Indigenous names re-established, but as of today, few of the original names are “official.”

So, it was no surprise when U.S. President Donald Trump on Thursday signed an executive order directing the U.S. Department of the Interior and Board on Geographic Names to take steps within 30 days to officially rename Lake Ontario as “Lake America.”

The move may have been a result of the Canada-U.S. trade war and Trump’s pettiness and ego, but it also fits in perfectly with his career.

Read
Friday, Aug. 28, 2026

School zones return Tuesday as lead-footed drivers risk steep fines

Maggie Macintosh 5 minute read Preview

School zones return Tuesday as lead-footed drivers risk steep fines

Maggie Macintosh 5 minute read Yesterday at 6:00 AM CDT

School crossing guards are preparing to resume their posts on busy corners across the Winnipeg School Division, but Luna Zúñiga isn’t one of them.

Zúñiga hung up her high-visibility vest about 30 months ago after she was struck by a motorist while escorting a child through a pedestrian crosswalk on Grant Avenue at Lanark Street.

Zúñiga protected the child, who wasn’t hurt, but the educational assistant at nearby J.B. Mitchell School suffered life-altering injuries, including nerve damage that limits her stamina, range of motion and makes her left leg “feel like it’s burning all the time.”

“I don’t know what needs to be done (to improve school-zone safety),” she said. “But I do know that when a six-year-old is crossing the street, a car needs to be fully stopped.”

Read
Yesterday at 6:00 AM CDT

Province accused of meddling in Dynacare contract dispute as strike deadline looms

Carol Sanders 4 minute read Preview

Province accused of meddling in Dynacare contract dispute as strike deadline looms

Carol Sanders 4 minute read 4:30 PM CDT

The union for hundreds of Dynacare lab employees in Manitoba has accused the provincial government of interfering in contract talks ahead of next week’s strike deadline.

The Manitoba Association of Health Care Professionals, which bargains on behalf of 350 lab workers at two dozen Dynacare outlets in Winnipeg, Brandon, and surrounding communities, said Tuesday that the labour board has been asked to review the need for an essential services agreement.

Dynacare and the union agreed in March that Dynacare services are not deemed essential under provincial law, and do not need to continue if a strike is held, MAHCP president Jason Linklater said Tuesday. The union, whose collective agreement with the private company expired March 31, said the NDP government was informed the two sides had agreed no essential services agreement was needed.

After contract negotiations broke down, and a strike deadline of 6 a.m. Sept. 8 was set, physicians and health-care advocates warned that patient care will suffer if the strike goes ahead because Dynacare provides nearly all medical lab services in Manitoba.

Read
4:30 PM CDT

Naked man dies after jolt from police Taser

Scott Billeck 5 minute read Preview

Naked man dies after jolt from police Taser

Scott Billeck 5 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 6:49 PM CDT

A Transcona man says he was lucky to be awake early Sunday when, shortly after 4 a.m., a stranger smashed through his screen door and kicked in the front door of his home.

“It’s all I can think about, like what if I was sleeping?” said the man, whom the Free Press is not naming to protect his identity. “Being awake gave me just a couple of extra seconds to deal with him before he got his whole body in.”

He was sitting on his couch when he heard the glass shatter and saw someone trying to force his way inside.

“Glass flew in and this guy — he was a big guy — tried to climb through the screen door,” the man said. “I hopped off the couch and just remember screaming for help. Well, of course it’s four in the morning, so nobody’s going to help, right? I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 6:49 PM CDT

Provencher Park eyed for new aquatic centre

Malak Abas 4 minute read Preview

Provencher Park eyed for new aquatic centre

Malak Abas 4 minute read Updated: 6:49 PM CDT

Provencher Park may be the next site for a new aquatic centre.

Read
Updated: 6:49 PM CDT