Best move not to delve into wife’s dream life

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/06/2025 (438 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife has started having a lot of erotic dreams, and I don’t know what to do for her. She’s an intensely sexual person, which is part of the reason I married her. I feel blessed, though I’d have thought her vibrant sexuality would express itself when we’re both fully conscious.

Now that we’ve been married for a year she’s become restless, and has started moaning and thrashing around in her sleep! I’m afraid to wake her. Who does she think she’s with? Maybe, not me!

This morning I asked her what I should have done, and she said, “How do I know? I can’t even remember the dream. Can’t I have a moment’s privacy from you? Are you that insecure? You could give me a heart attack!”

Miss L., is it dangerous to break into somebody’s alternate reality, and find out what the heck is going on?

— Concerned Husband, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Concerned: You know your own dreams are not real, especially if you’re getting busy having sex with some movie star. Remind yourself your wife is not cheating on you, and let her have her fun, uninterrupted. It’s more like a movie she’s watching (and feeling) and she doesn’t need you interrupting the last act!

Maybe you should just slip out of the room, and get some ice cream — or have a cold shower. By the way, people who’ve just had a sex dream aren’t in the mood for discussing it afterwards, and half the time they can’t even remember it two minutes later!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in deep trouble. I told my boyfriend I’d take care of renting us a cabin and then left it too late. Now there isn’t much left anywhere, especially at the popular beaches he likes.

Last night he sat me down and said, “OK, we’re into June and we’ve got nothing lined up for the holiday in July. Do I have that right?”

I mumbled, “Yes, I’m sorry. I know I volunteered to book something. I will still save the day one way or the other!” He said, “Good.” without even smiling.

Well, I’ve got no idea what my rescue is going to be, at this point, but I need one desperately. I had thought this guy was the one for me, but I don’t think he sees me in the same light anymore. Help!

— Messed Up Badly! North Kildonan

Dear Messed Up: I know people who fell in love with tenting, and after that first summer experience, pitched a tent in their living room for a sentimental Saturday night in the winter. Tenting can sometimes be more fun than renting, especially if it’s someone else’s beloved private cabin and they’re fussy about it.

Why not check out websites on “how to choose a tent” but also be aware that you don’t need put out big money. Local stores and specialty outlets sell serviceable tents in their camping sections that will cost you as little as $200 to $300. That would be one night’s rent in many hotels or cottages.

And, if you want, you two can move on from lake to lake and check out other beautiful spots, although you might need to book lesser-known beaches as we’re cruising into high season. Good luck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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