Excited to finally explore north of the 49th parallel

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I asked my wife to consider a road trip in August that crosses the Rockies and ends at Vancouver island and the Pacific Ocean. She surprised me and said immediately, “Sounds great to me. Let’s do it!”

This response came from a woman who has always loved to shop and sightsee her way through different big cities in the U.S. I didn’t even have to convince her. Now I’m wondering: why did it take us so long to consider a road trip across Canada to be as beautiful and exciting as any other major travel adventure we’d go on south of the border?

— Proudly Canadian Tourists, St. James

Dear Proudly Canadian: It’s surprising how many people took Canada’s “sea-to-shining-sea” beauty for granted prior to the recent issues in the States that are now keeping many travellers away. But there are so many great vacation spots and destinations in Canada, whether it’s urban fun and shopping you’re after, or the great outdoors.

This winter, you might consider heading due north on a trip to Churchill and the Arctic. Right in our own province, you can see polar bears and other fascinating northern animals, and the mind-blowing northern lights dancing in the sky.

If you want these experiences on your itinerary, booking ASAP would be wise as Churchill has been thriving as a tourist destination in recent years.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I woke up in bed with my brand new lady friend, and there was a big furry lump at the foot of it — her old poodle had crawled in between the sheets. She’d crept in the bottom of the bed and was snuggled between our two sets of legs.

So much for morning sex! My mate just laughed, sounding like she was actually relieved. She said, “Pay no attention to my dog. She’s friendly and I always let her crawl in with me for a snuggle in the mornings.”

Then she jumped right out of bed herself, and started making us bacon and eggs. This was definitely not the Sunday morning sex session I was counting on.

I stayed in bed, and my new mate soon brought eggs and coffee for us — and kibble and water for her pooch. We were not going to be alone for even five minutes!

I’ve got nothing against dogs, or even sharing my bed with one, but not when they control my sex life. So, I finally told her that and she said, “That means you flunked the test, my friend.” She said she’d be willing to be “sex buddies” with me, but noted that animal friends are loyal as long as they’re breathing, while humans are not.

Whoa, I had to get out of there! I pulled on my clothes and my runners and ran all the way home thinking about this. Granted, my girlfriends haven’t lasted forever, but I’d never compare them to a dog. How did women get so cynical?

— Lost to a Dog, Wolseley

Dear Lost: Had you stuck around to play with the dog and eaten a breakfast in bed made especially for you, things might have worked out an after-breakfast session. Her dog could have yawned and ambled off for a snooze, leaving the humans to pet each other. But you had a little tantrum and ran for the door instead!

Pet ownership is on the rise, as a lot of human relationships fizzle before they even get started, and so many people live alone now. That loneliness unfortunately hastens sexual connections, before people have a chance to become emotionally attached. Animals are very loyal, and their owners love them like children.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.