‘Coincidences’ may be down to technical access

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I can’t help but wonder if “Stalked by Ex-Husband” (the woman whose ex-husband shows up at all her events with women on his arm) has thought about changing any shared Apple or Android accounts on her devices — ones she may have shared with him when they were married.

He may still have some sort of access to her location if they used to share that info with each other. He may also still have access to her messages (emails and texts) if she hasn’t made any password changes.

— Concerned For Her, Winnipeg

Dear Concerned For Her: Thanks for caring, and for your helpful suggestions to tighten up this woman’s technical security. It’s certainly suspicious this ex-husband always seems to know where she’s going ahead of time, and turns up with a date hanging off him.

Your suggestions could be helpful to other readers too, and they may need to make some changes ASAP as well.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I moved into a high-rise tower in the middle of the city with a fantastic view and a pool. I’m way up in the sky this summer — exactly where I wanted to be after a painful divorce on the ground in a tight-knit community of couples. I just couldn’t live there anymore.

Now, some other woman from that community lives in my marital home with my husband. It’s embarrassing and it hurts. That beautiful area revolves around a tennis club and beautiful golf course in the summer.

As a couple, everything worked because everything was done by twos. In fact, a few wives I thought were good friends clearly have stroked me off their friend lists, now that I don’t have a partner. I just stopped getting invitations for anything. I’d hear about events later I wasn’t invited to, and that really hurt.

Now, nobody knows my business — and nobody cares either! I’m lonely and don’t know what to do with myself to make a new social life. I thought I got what I wanted with the move to the high rise, but now I’m in a building full of people I may never know, with a gorgeous view and pool I enjoy alone. I feel so disconnected. Help!

— Up in the Air, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Up in the Air: Forget about where you live for now. There are many fun and interesting groups or gatherings of people that don’t give a darn about your marital status or where you live, and would happily welcome you.

Got sunscreen? Festivals need all the help they can get, and there are more than 150 across Manitoba every year looking for new volunteers. Big ones, like the Winnipeg Fringe Theatre Festival coming up, attract rafts of fun people as volunteers, so get in touch and make some fun new friends while you’re at it — people who are anything but narrow-minded.

You could also consider helping out a charity. Some really need help in the summer, particularly when a portion of their regular volunteers are off at cabins or away on holidays. Call a few that interest you, try them out and stay with the one that resonates.

The trick to reconnecting socially is to get “over-busy” and give many things a really good try. Then stick with a couple you like best — but not just one. Make yourself rich in activities and see where it takes you!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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