Demonstrate devotion by not jumping the gun

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This article was published 08/08/2025 (373 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a gay male in my mid-20s. I recently came out to my religious parents, along with announcing the wonderful man I want to marry. It’s my secret partner of two years who had pretended to be my best friend, at my insistence.

Now, my deeply religious parents have rejected me. I will never hurt my man again by denying our love to anyone. In fact, we are planning to be married this fall, no matter what. It will be a very small wedding now.

My parents say I am not welcome in their family, until I “see the light and abandon my evil ways.” This has started an avalanche of angry feelings on both sides.

My closest brother and his girlfriend were the first to defy my parents and support our decision. They also announced that they plan to move in together, without marrying. They also brought my younger sister over to visit my man and me — and now she’s in big trouble with our parents, too.

The whole family is coming apart at the seams and my parents are mostly blaming me. They say they’re 100 per cent right, and have absolutely refused to take part in any counselling sessions with me and my fiancé.

Before things blew up, they knew my man as my best friend and they loved him because he’s a wonderful person. Talk about being two-faced!

How do we handle this?

We’re never turning back. Do we need to get married to prove this to my parents? If so, we can do it, but they’d never come anyway.

If they did, they’d be sitting there scowling, or even worse, my mother would end up crying and ruin the entire wedding for everybody. Please help.

— In the Eye of a Storm, southern Manitoba

Dear In the Eye of a Storm: Announcing a hasty marriage just to prove the point you two are serious about committing sort of undercuts the seriousness of your stance. It just comes off sounding like a battle move.

So, set a marriage date if you wish, but make it far enough in the future that things will have calmed down somewhat. Although your parents are kicking up a ruckus now, they may start to tire of it and miss having a relationship of any kind with you two.

Stop actively fighting on your end now, and just go at your own speed in this serious love relationship that’s heading for marriage. Continue to visit amicably with any family and friends who want to support you and start building those numbers up.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our unique black-and-white spotted dog — barely more than a pup — is being accused of impregnating our neighbours’ young, tan-coloured dog.

We scoffed when they accused our baby of somehow getting under their fence and doing the deed. I said to my wife, “Nice try on their part!” But then they sent us photo proof of the new spotted puppy in question, and what a little cutie! It sure looks like our boy is his daddy.

Unfortunately, the pup’s mom turns out to be some kind of special breed and our neighbours have tried to breed her with a friend’s similarly coloured dog, though not of the same breed.

These people are not real dog breeders, so why all the fuss over a little slip-up with our dog? Please advise.

— Whoopsie Puppy, St. James

Dear Whoopsie: There could be an easy answer! Maybe you’d like to offer to pay to take the black-and-white surprise off your shocked neighbours’ hands? That could help make things better — and it’s clear you and your wife are already very interested.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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