Reach out to embrace your son’s sexuality

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My son has just announced to us he fell in love with a special guy this summer, and it’s serious. My wife called me at work — the minute after he left our house from telling her.

We had strongly suspected our son was not straight, but we hadn’t really thought about how we’d feel if he found a guy he was serious about. Apparently that time has arrived. Now what? We don’t have any experience with gay people in our family and we really don’t want to blow it by being unintentionally rude.

— Gay Son’s Parents, St. James

Dear Son’s Parents: Your best reaction is a simple statement like this to your son: “We love you and we’ll definitely support you and the person you discover is right for you, loves you and treats you well.”

You may not know much on the topic of same-sex love, so encourage your son to chat with you more and recommend a book or two. Also make sure to contact the Rainbow Resource Centre (rainbowresourcecentre.org) as they serve the LGBTTQ+ community in many ways.

They’re happy to talk with parents and families in your situation and advise them in their different discussion groups. Also check out their extensive library of books.

By the way, you should know your son and his partner may be planning to attend to the upcoming fancy ball called the Queerly Beloved Gala, presented by the Rainbow Resource Centre and RBC, at the RBC Convention Centre on Nov. 1. It’s an evening celebrating queer love and commemorating 20 years of marriage equality, while supporting Manitoba’s LGBTTQ+ community.

You can find more information on the event at rainbowresourcecentre.org/queerly-beloved-gala.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want my first sweet husband back, and he’s become available again. I was married to him in my late teens but we were too young to make a go of that early bond. We were not expecting a child, either! We just got married to spite our parents who were angry when they discovered we were having sex. They tried to split us up.

Six months after the wedding, we gave up. We were just not ready to be married adults and we actually moved to different cities for the next five years, but then we ran into each other at a mutual friend’s wedding this winter and bingo!

We’ve been in each other’s pockets ever since. It’s way different now. It’s serious grown-up love this time and we’re so ready to be married again. We just don’t know what would make sense style-wise for a second wedding to each other. What do you suggest?

— Embarrassed, But Game, Winnipeg

Dear Embarrassed: A small wedding and dinner for very close friends and family at somebody’s home would be appropriate, and not cost too much money. By the way, you and your grown-up sweetheart should pay for this second wedding — not your folks.

You might want to record the after-dinner speeches, if you have friends with good senses of humour. You’re liable to get quite a ribbing!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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