No song and dance will atone for birthday blunder

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently forgot my girlfriend’s birthday and went to the bar with my friends instead. She phoned me at 10 p.m. and told me I was dumped. So, I got a little drunker and went over at midnight to her parents’ house where she lives and started singing “Happy Birthday” to her out on the front lawn!

Her dad came out and told me, “Get lost and never come back!” and that he was calling the cops next. My two buddies and I took off fast.

Now my girlfriend won’t even pick up the phone. It was just a little mistake. I really do love her! It was a bit late, but I put a stuffed animal and a card on her lawn last night saying I loved her. What can I do next?

— Blew It For Good? South St. Vital

Dear Blew it: A forgotten birthday rates more than a drunken solo and a belated stuffed animal on a young woman’s front doorstep.

Not only did you forget about her special day, you humiliated her in front of her dad, who you can bet does love her deeply! Count yourself lucky Dad didn’t ask the police to come and take Prince Charming away to the slammer. That’d be you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Finding out that my father is bisexual and has had a gay partner for years is driving me nuts. Dad still lives at home with the family when he’s not travelling for work.

My mother is much less upset about this than I am. She told me she “kind of knew” for years, and that just shocks me!

She says she was so busy with all of us kids (six in all) that she was working 24-7 to keep the family going. She said she was “too damn busy” to pursue the clues she got, when dad would go away on frequent business trips. Plus, she said they still had “a sex life of sorts.” Eww! I didn’t need to hear that.

Now, here’s the weirdest part. She knows all about dad’s cheating, but says he’s still her “best friend” and that he’s generous with money and very devoted to us all. And that’s enough for her as a woman?

We are not little children anymore, for God’s sake! Where is my mother’s head at? Please help me, as I’m going nuts now.

— Upset Oldest Daughter, Winnipeg

Dear Upset Daughter: Your parents have both come to terms with dad’s bisexuality and have remained close friends.

Both parents love their six kids and luckily, your father is making enough money to help keep things going financially.

The problem remaining is that it’s hurting and shocking you, and perhaps the other siblings who might know. You, in particular, need private counselling for your hurt and confusion. You could also benefit from some sessions including your parents, both together and apart.

For right now, your family physician needs to know how upset you are and why, and may be able to help set up appointments for you with a psychiatrist, covered by provincial health. If the wait list is too long, psychologists can take on similar sessions and help more quickly, though they’re not able to prescribe medication.

Sometimes workplaces have group insurance plans to help employees with payments for visiting a psychologist, so be sure to inquire. Go after what you need now to help you finally wrap your head around this situation, and be able to function well.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.