Don’t bar beau’s beloved bow-wow from big day

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My fiancé doesn’t have a best friend or brother to be his best man for our wedding — just a couple of unimportant buddies. So, he insists his beloved big dog be included in our small wedding ceremony as his best man, wearing a bow tie.

I’m livid. It’s stupid and makes a joke of a serious ceremony. What do you think?

—Furious Fiancée, West End

Dear Furious: If his dog is well enough behaved during social situations, it sounds like a sweet idea to me, but then I have loved some big dogs in my lifetime. That being said, if a wedding ceremony is to be very fancy and formal, then a human friend or relative should really stand up for the bride or groom — with the beloved pooch still in attendance to take part in the fun and photos.

However, you mention yours will be a smaller ceremony, so why not bend a little here for the man you love? This is a dog you’ll be living with, so why not work out a compromise?

Your fiancé’s dear old canine may not have to be front-and-centre during the “I dos,” but still include the canine, as he is part of your family. That’s fair.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I always cry when summer is over, but this year was especially tough for our family, who live and breathe lake life. Our cabin was affected by the wildfires and in the path of a lot of smoke — so we hardly went to the lake the whole season—and when we did, it was for damage prevention. I was in love with the lake and our cabin all my life, but then suddenly it was unsafe and we couldn’t go.

I know it wasn’t the fault of the lake itself, and there’s no reason to lose my love for it, but this year we lost the trust that we would always be safe to make it our home away from home every summer.

We are deciding now if we’re going to sell our cabin, which still just reeks of smoke.

— Crushed Cottager, Tuxedo

Dear Crushed: Give it a little more time and then retake your emotional temperature. If the cabin no longer feels safe and you can’t/won’t sleep there, and at home you’re constantly thinking about returning wildfires and smoke, then it isn’t the place for you anymore. It’s time to let go.

It may then be time to look for a new type of vacation. Maybe it’s time for a ski holiday in the snow this winter. (I’m only half-kidding.) But time away from grieving what was and trying out what might work for you in future summers is what’s needed now — an emotional rest, and no quick decisions to make.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My man is back from a research project outside Canada and he’s acting differently. He often seems off in dreamland — taking phone calls out of my earshot.

I’ve tried to listen in from around the corner, but I can’t make out anything he’s saying that isn’t work-related. Until last week. His phone was ringing and he was out in the garage, so I picked it up and there was a woman on the other end, suddenly sounding flustered.

I said, “Just give me your name and number and I’ll get him to call you back.”

She made some ridiculous excuse, and said she would have to call him back.

I asked him who the woman was who called, and he said suspiciously, “Must have been a wrong number.”

I told him she asked for him by name, and wouldn’t give me her name or number.

What do you think?

— Suspicious Caller, South St. Vital

Dear Suspicious: She sounds like a woman who wasn’t expecting another woman to answer. Your boyfriend may have been fibbing to both of you about his dating circumstances. So, feel free to question him further about his summer away, and who this woman on the phone actually is.

If he won’t tell you, you’ll have a partial answer and know she is likely another woman from his time away, and you’ll have to decide if you can accept that.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.