Shed some light on shocking moonlight kiss

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife and I recently went to a beautiful wedding in the tiny town where we both grew up. I got the shock of my life there!

I was out smoking a cigar with a couple of old buddies, and decided to go around the back of the hall on my own, to look at the great-big moon. It was then I saw my wife with her back to me. She was with a guy I didn’t know and he was holding her hand up to his lips. He kissed it, and then bent down and kissed her on the mouth.

I couldn’t move — just stood there staring.

Finally, I approached the two of them, tapped my wife on the shoulder, and said, “You’re coming with me!” The guy took off running, and I heard a big truck start and squeal out of the parking lot. Since then, my wife won’t talk about it, and hasn’t even apologized.

I don’t want my marriage to break up, but this scene bothers me day and night. She’s sleeping in another room — and that’s her choice. I don’t want to hurt her, as I still love her! Do we have a chance? Please help me.

— Hurting Badly, southern Manitoba

Dear Hurting: It looks like you are going to have to start the difficult conversation about this guy and the moonlight kiss.

So, begin quietly and set the tone like this: “Please tell me what that kiss was all about. I am willing to listen.” If she says nothing, you could add, “I’m hurting, but I still love you very much. Can’t we work this out?”

You really need to know what’s going on in her head, and her heart. She might say something like, “You aren’t romantic with me anymore. That guy made me feel beautiful again, for a change.” These are the types of things you could still remedy — if the two of them don’t already have a relationship going.

It is odd that she won’t talk. If she just ran into an old love that night, it may have been a sentimental kiss for old times’ sake, but not a relationship rekindler with the guy.

If they already have an affair going on, that’s a whole other story. Then you need professional help — but only if she says she’s willing to give Romeo up, and really wants to save your marriage.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is giving my sister and me a terrible scare. She’s got this guy she met at a casino who is her new “boyfriend.” That’s what she calls him! He’s a “boy toy” in my books — sexy clothes, dresses like a musician — although he definitely isn’t.

He’s very good-looking, though — and younger than our mom by 10 years or more. She seems crazy about him. She doesn’t get home until 3 a.m. some nights now, and we’re still awake wondering where she is, like we’re suddenly the parents.

My sister is just 18 and I recently turned 20. We’re both full-time university students and shouldn’t have to deal with something like this. It’s extra-serious because we’re worried this guy is spending all the money our dad left mom in his will.

“Loverboy” — the name we call him — has a lousy job and an old beater of a car. But this guy and my mom are hitting different casinos and bars in her beautiful car, and occasionally she doesn’t come home all night. The thought of those nights makes us shudder! Please help.

— Worried Daughters, North Kildonan

Dear Worried Daughters: You need close, trustable adult support now, as your mom may be heading into a financial debacle. That’s especially so if she owns the home you three live in, and has college and retirement funds.

This guy may have his fingers crossed his new girlfriend’s two “kids” will keep their mouths shut, and she will keep him afloat as her gambling buddy. If she’s feeling grateful for his company, she may be paying for hotel costs, not to mention all the action at the gambling tables and VLTs.

Does your mom have a best friend or family members you’re close with? Is there anybody she respects and wouldn’t hoof right out the door if they tried to talk with her, and help her protect herself financially?

Put your heads together and come up with a list of very close people who might have her back. Then talk to the top two or three quickly! You’ll be glad you didn’t look the other way, until it was too late.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.