Make it double the Halloween fun at new home

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We are first-time homeowners who just moved into our new place in a neighbourhood full of young families with kids.

But my wife is getting ahead of herself. She’s already giving me a hard time over my wanting to cancel Halloween at our new house and just go see our old neighbourhood friends for the big party at our favourite bar.

My wife wants to stay home in the new house to greet the new neighbourhood parents and children and put on a big show in a witch’s costume with a cauldron in the yard. But we don’t know anybody here yet.

I just want to shut off our lights and get dressed up in my Superman costume and go off with my wife to our old bar with their fantastic annual party. Who’s right here?

— Superman, East Kildonan

Dear Superman: Don’t start life in your new neighbourhood as Mr. and Mrs. Killjoy who shut off all their lights on Halloween night.

You can still enjoy Halloween with your old friends later that evening and show your pals photos of the costumed kids who came to your house.

So, decorate your house and yard, and string orange lights in your bushes to be welcoming to the neighbourhood kids.

You’ll have an opportunity to meet a few parents, too. Be costumed and playful and put smiles on the faces of their little kids. Take photos and make everybody feel very important.

You can still be at the bar for 10 p.m., but also pumped up with stories from your new digs. Just ask friends to hold two seats for you two — the friendly new homeowners.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-girlfriend from seven years ago who took off for Montreal — where she had a big family — and left me here brokenhearted called me up recently.

She said she was in Winnipeg and needed to see me in person to advise her on something important. I knew her family, so I figured it must be that someone was dying. But over lunch she confessed to me she was pregnant when I broke up with her, and she went home to Quebec to her relatives and gave birth to a baby boy.

Her married sister is raising the kid, as they were childless and wanted a baby very much. I remember that sister, who was a sweet person. I almost went into shock in the restaurant.

My ex barrelled ahead, as is her style, and asked me if I wanted to take part in the child’s life now.

Then she pulled out a photo of a little boy who looked just like me. I said it definitely looked like my son, but wondered how I could be a father to him from a distance.

She said coolly, “You can start by helping out financially.”

I said, “Yeah? And how could I also be part of my child’s actual life?” She didn’t have an answer for that. I felt sick.

I feel even worse that I’ve never known my own child all this time. Now what do I do?

— Robbed of Fatherhood? Winnipeg

Dear Robbed: This child has known his aunt and uncle as his mom and dad — and known his birth mom perhaps more like an aunt, but it seems you are his birth dad, although you should really have that checked out with a paternity test, and you must also see a lawyer, ASAP.

Though it’s difficult, this is not the first time this exact situation has happened, and there are options.

As for what role you can play, you could possibly fit into the picture as a visiting and phoning close uncle-type figure and help with the child’s financial needs, and also build up an education fund for him.

And, maybe when he’s college age, he might want to go to school nearer you.

For now, it’s most important to build a good relationship with the couple who are lovingly raising him as his parents, so you can be his attentive uncle-like figure.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.