Brother-in-law way out of line with his leering

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband’s younger brother was eyeing me up and making lewd comments about my thighs and upper body when we were playing tennis recently. I told him to stop, a couple of times, but he wouldn’t, and just laughed and said, “You know you love it!” I quit playing with him.

Now that we’re not seeing each other on the court, I thought his creepy flirting would stop, but it hasn’t. The little creep managed to sit beside me at a recent family party. He immediately started leering down my shirt at my cleavage, and I told him to stop.

He leaned over and whispered, “Get over it, or get on it, Baby!” That was going way too far! Should I tell my husband, or keep quiet again? He’s the jealous type and he has a temper.

— Brother Bother, River Heights

Dear Brother Bother: Why should you protect your lecherous brother-in-law? Tell your husband what happened at the party and inform him of his brother’s disgusting remarks and behaviour toward to you. Expect your man to confront his younger brother, but warn him not to be violent. You don’t need him in legal trouble over this.

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Up to this summer I had only slept with one person in my life — my “almost” ex-wife.

She got pregnant in Grade 12, and I married her before the baby came. I truly loved her, so it was not a terrible thing for me, but so much for my education, and hers. But big deal — we were suddenly parents, and we loved our baby boy.

Then, last spring, she became very quiet and moody, and suddenly left me. I was in shock. She took our little son with her to live at her parents’ place. She said she cared for me, but she was never deeply in love with me — she just accidentally got pregnant and “made the best of it.” Whoa, that hurt!

Suddenly I was a single guy in my early 20s with no experience in the dating world. It was like falling off a cliff with nowhere to land.

But then an angel came, in the form of my older sister who put in a good word and got me a little apartment in her block. She has friends who share a big place of their own, on the same floor as me. They took me under their wing, too. I’ve never had such a fun time in my life! They set me up on some dates that were fun and “instructional” and I learned more than I expected in a few months.

I also started taking some college courses this fall, but suddenly I have a big problem with my ex. She’s jealous, so she’s now talking about “maybe taking me back,” as if it’s all hers to decide. She’s dangling a big carrot — our child.

I don’t want to go back to living with my ex-wife, but I miss my boy who needs a dad in his home, full-time. I just don’t love his mother anymore. What a sad situation. Please help me.

— Sad Situation, Osborne Village

Dear Sad Situation: You hold more cards in the “game of life” than your ex-wife, who pushed you out. Now you know what it’s like to live independently and be respected, and you also have female friends, a social life and education happening.

If you allow your ex-wife to pull you back out of jealousy, it’ll probably only be a matter of time before you split up again. If you don’t want to go back to your ex, you might take a more active role in looking after your child, and also encourage his mother to take steps to get back on track with her educational goals, as well.

The best scenario? You and your ex are respectful friends, live separately, and support each other and your son, every way you can.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.