Mate’s dress-up drive may not be a good fit

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Ever since Halloween my girlfriend has been pulling out her costumes, dressing up in them for sex and demanding I go along with the scene. I’ve had way too much of Halloween for this year.

I took the costume box and threw it into the attic, but I got caught because one of her wigs fell out in the hallway. I have just one question: why am I not enough for her anymore?

— Done with Costumes, East Kildonan

Dear Done with Costumes: Your girlfriend got an extra charge out of the play-acting and doesn’t want to go back to plain old sex.

Some people love intimacy in its unadorned form, and that’s enough drama for them. Your present girlfriend isn’t one of those people. She likes wildness, props and unusual costumes. You two may not be suited for the long-term.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My high school boyfriend just popped back into my life. He’s divorced, no kids and moved back from Alberta.

Apparently he went looking through old high school yearbooks and got the idea he needed to see me again. He said he came back for a great job, but doesn’t know anyone anymore.

On our first meeting, he hardly recognized me at the restaurant because my hair is red now, fluffier and short — it used to be brown and very long. He asked where all my hair went.

I said, “I could ask you the same question,” and he blushed. He’s losing his, and it’s almost all gone.

It was an awkward between-two-exes lunch, but he’s lonely and keeps contacting me.

What should I do? I don’t want to sound unkind, but I don’t want a romance with him again. I wouldn’t mind being a friend, if he would go for that. What should I do?

— Awkward Ex, Exchange District

Dear Awkward Ex: You should just be honest and say you don’t think the two of you are romantically suited, but you would be happy to be a buddy and help him learn to enjoy Winnipeg again.

First, suggest a night of board games at your place and invite any people you both know from the old days.

Be an activities friend for a while and take him out for activities — curling, art classes, whatever you can do for some fun, and introduce him to people you know.

That sort of kindness can come back to you in life in ways you don’t expect.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is quite the fighter. My dad recently moved in with his girlfriend, and in response my mom just introduced me to her new man. Except he’s not at all new.

He’s been her mechanic for years. That explains all those times she went to the garage in the evening to see how her car was coming along. I just don’t want to think about them.

What do you think was really up?

— Unhappy Son, Tuxedo

Dear Unhappy: Maybe they were just visiting, but maybe not. Just as the parents don’t want to think about you getting some action, you would do well to avoid thinking about them doing the same.

You can ease this problem by asking everything you want to know about your parents’ new relationships in private talks with your mom and then your dad. Tell them you don’t want the details, but you do need to know where you stand in the midst of all these changes.

If you’re still living at home with your mom, you might want to find an apartment or shared house with friends as soon as you’re able to.

If post-secondary education is in the plans, living in student residence on campus can be a lot of fun and you don’t have to worry about your parents’ “dating” activities, whatever they may be at that time. You just don’t need the headaches.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography