Lunch-hour lust becoming a workplace worry

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DEAR LONELYHEARTS: Two people from my business are having a noon-hour affair. I’m their supervisor and yesterday I got a phone call from the guy’s partner, who was all in a tizzy.

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Opinion

DEAR LONELYHEARTS: Two people from my business are having a noon-hour affair. I’m their supervisor and yesterday I got a phone call from the guy’s partner, who was all in a tizzy.

Apparently these two go to the woman’s place near our office for “nooners.” Their personal relationships shouldn’t be my business, but their behaviour and the fallout from it is putting me in a difficult position.

What should I do? I have better things to do than worry about employees’ silly affairs.

— So Annoyed, The Maples

Dear Annoyed: Ask the two lust birds into your office and tell them about the distressed phone call you received from the guy’s mate.

Ask them what they think they should be doing as far as their affair impacting the workplace.

One or both might ask to speak to you alone — so be sure to take that offer.

It’s possible one might be less invested than the other in these noon-hour trysts and may be happy to volunteer a possible solution from their side.

No matter what, you don’t need to be part of any more distress calls on this from anybody, so tell your male employee to pass that important message along to his angry partner.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I never really feel sexually frustrated because I’m attracted to men, women and my own body. I also read about sex voraciously.

The problem is my interest in sex is overwhelming to most of my relationship partners so far, and more so when they know I’m planning to write a book and maybe talk about people’s performance and hang-ups — anonymously, of course.

They are either scared or titillated they might end up in my book, though I would never mention their names.

Now I’m feeling stuck after the first few chapters. I am a psychology student and I analyze everything to death.

My best friend says I should have kept the book a secret, as I’m scaring future sex partners away.

So, how do I live my life like a regular person when I’m totally fascinated with experimental sex and the extreme closeness it brings, and writing about it?

— Frustrated, Linden Woods

Dear Frustrated: Some people are so fascinated by the world of sexual possibilities that they make a study of it — and want to write books. That would be you.

But why continue to go it alone on this project?

Consider looking for a writing partner from the psychology world who is also interested in the topic and then possibly enlist willing participants in your studies, rather than tapping into your own sex partners’ behaviour and the hurt feelings that could ensue.

Just admit to people close to you that you’ve gotten stuck writing this book all by yourself. You need someone to add inspiration to your experiments, and help with documenting them.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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