Get serious if you hope to keep family intact

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m not going to tell my uninterested wife this yet, but she has some competition brewing, as there’s a woman on one of my sports teams who has been chasing me.

I haven’t given in to her yet, but last night when my wife told me I wouldn’t be getting a present from her this year because she was spending all her money on the kids, I just choked.

Such an obvious lie, and I had just spent $250 on gifts for her. When I told her that, she called me demanding and said I was trying to buy back her love.

True, my feelings for her have cooled, but I still want to love my wife, as she is the mother of my boys.

If we split up, they would be living with her. That would break my heart as I am a loving and active father and used to sleeping under the same roof with my family in our home together. Please help me out.

— Desperate to Save Family, St. James

Dear Desperate: You are closer to the brink of a breakup than your wife realizes — and she needs to know that. The new year is when fed-up people often make resolutions to improve their lives — and marriages are often first in line for fixing.

First off, if you’re serious about staying under the same roof as your family, forget about this female teammate. If necessary, find a new team to join to avoid this dangerous situation.

Then you need to have a serious talk with your wife and let her know that you are deeply concerned about the future of your marriage and family situation.

Tell her you’re putting aside money for couples counselling in January. Book now, as there could be a wait involved after the holidays.

If you want to save your marriage, this will at least show your wife you’re serious about making an effort for the sake of your family.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend disclosed to me he is not buying me an engagement ring again this Christmas, and now I don’t want him anymore.

We have been dating six years (since Grade 9) and he still doesn’t know whether he wants me or not. What do you think? We are already in university.

—Embarrassed and Hurting, West End

Dear Embarrassed and Hurting: Sounds like a great time for a breakup. You’re old news to this guy, so start the new year a free woman. You can find a fantastic guy at university if you aren’t saddled with this tired old boyfriend.

But make sure to get some personal help for the breakup pain through your university’s counselling services. That will help get you past this boyfriend and help ease you into a new romantic life.

Once you’re healed and feeling confident, you can more easily find a new man who will love you like crazy, and appreciate your beautiful brain and personality.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.