Keep kids busy for a less stressed Christmas Eve

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: In the weeks leading up to Christmas, my wife and I always become over-tired and short-tempered and the kids get restless and cranky, too. Santa Claus can’t get here quick enough for them!

Last year we ended up in a family fight on Christmas Eve and one of the kids went to bed crying and hiccupping endlessly. I vowed I’d never let us all get so nasty again during the holidays, but it seems I need some creative help. We don’t have a plan yet, and things could blow up all over again.

— Worried Dad, Linden Woods

Dear Worried Dad: Plan to take the kids out for a busy and active afternoon on Dec. 24 and give your wife the peace of a quiet, decorated house to enjoy for a few hours.

Do something the kids really enjoy, whether it’s sledding or skating outdoors, or wandering around The Forks or Assiniboine Park. If it’s too cold out, consider indoor activities like bowling, mini-golf, laser tag, trampolining or checking out the Manitoba Museum — there are plenty of options to explore. The main thing is to get them tired while doing something they enjoy, so they’re not so wound up later.

Then you and your wife can plan to get dinner from a favourite take-out spot so there’s less to deal with during the evening.

After dinner, you can give the kids their stuffed stockings so they can stay busy with all the goodies they receive. You could also have a couple of their favourite video or board games ready to go for some family fun as well.

Hopefully the kids will have had a great time and be somewhat worn out as Christmas Eve winds down, maybe even allowing you and your wife a bit of adult time before bed.

So get planning and hopefully you can merrily blot out the memory of stressful Yuletides past!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My old auntie is an alcoholic and she’s pretending she has quit drinking again so she can come to our family get-togethers. By the end of the evening, she’s always loaded because she’s been in the bathroom, out on the porch or in her car, pretending to take a private call. She’s really downing little bottles of straight liquor.

How do we know when she’s drunk? She finally plunks down on the piano seat and starts playing, getting everybody singing. I don’t know what to do about her! I love her very much and she’s a great entertainer.

— Frustrated Niece, West Kildonan

Dear Frustrated: It’s time to somewhat accept your old auntie as she is and stop shaming her. It could better for everyone involved to stop pretending your she’s not drinking, and at least have the issue out in the open.

Plus, if part of your aunt’s sober ruse is driving to your house to show she’s not drinking because she’s behind the wheel, things could turn dangerous if her drunk driving results in a road accident.

Stop forcing her to drink her mini-bottles in secret and let her enjoy a beverage or two with the rest of you, who are admittedly drinking on these occasions anyway. Show Auntie you love her when she comes to join the family at events at your place.

With the boozing out in the open, you can also make sure she’s not using her car to come to your house and risking driving under the influence.

And who knows, without the secrecy and shame, and a greater sense of inclusion, it may become easier to confront her alcohol issues, especially if they are seriously impacting her life and health.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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