Get overbearing control freak out of your life

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: A month ago, I moved in with a gorgeous guy, way too quickly it turns out, as he started trying to run my life.

He had me get up at 7 a.m. with him, working out. He made us high-protein breakfasts and watched every morsel I ate. He put me on the scale to check my weight every day.

He told me he would buy me glasses “for work only,” but he would need to check them out first to see if they’re the right style on me, as I have a “too-round” face.

He’s been buying me real jewelry and clothes he pushes me to wear, but I don’t feel like myself anymore. I feel like his doll. He won’t stop trying to control me.

So, this week I ran away from him and moved back in with my parents, and my father told him to back off, or else.

Guess what this guy said? “Great — she’s not worth saving from herself.”

Saving from what? Then why does he keep phoning and phoning? I’m afraid to go out in case he’s following me again.

— Not a Dress-Up Doll, Tuxedo

Dear Not a Dress-Up Doll: You are perfect the way you are, naturally — it’s important to remember that. Unfortunately, you ran into a guy who has serious self-image problems himself. He wanted a customized doll on his arm to make him look better.

Cut this guy off from all contact, with your family’s help. If that’s not enough, see a lawyer and contact police about a protection order.

Make sure to spend time now with people who know you, understand you and love you.

If you do need to seek legal help and can’t really afford it, contact Legal Aid Manitoba (legalaid.mb.ca).

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My body-conscious wife doesn’t love me anymore, but she continues to demand sex. Nothing like using me to burn off those extra calories.

She’s pleasant enough and sometimes funny over our sexercise sessions, but there’s nothing loving about it and I’m not laughing anymore.

I know my wife has a mean streak and I would leave if I could — but I don’t trust her to live alone with our children.

Our kids tell me she warns them never to call me at work. That’s nonsense. I own my own business and can do what I want and answer the phone. Their mother just wants privacy to treat the kids any way she wants when I’m not around.

If our marriage blew up and my wife got her way, I would lose most of my time with the kids and be paying her a fortune, while babysitters look after them most of the time. What can I do?

— Distraught Dad, eastern Manitoba

Dear Distraught Dad: Tell the kids you want them to be free to call you whenever they want, and that mom has made a mistake about that. Discuss this situation with your wife, and also give the kids a prepaid cellphone so they have 24-hour ability to call you.

Most importantly, it’s time you talked seriously with your wife about this unhappy marriage and her style of child care, and let her know you’re onto it now and will not tolerate it.

No doubt you realize your marriage is not going to last forever, so you need to get primary care of the children ASAP.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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