Jockey wisecrack a hurtful low blow

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ran into my boyfriend from Grade 9 at the horse races recently. He’s still really short. I said, “You’re so small you could be a great jockey!” He said, ”And you still talk before you think!”

Ouch! I was just stating what was true. If he doesn’t like being compared to a jockey, he should stay away from the racetrack, where people will mistake him for one, don’t you think?

— Hurt Feelings, St. James

Dear Hurt Feelings: It’s important not to make cracks about personal traits people are sensitive about.

No doubt this old boyfriend of yours was teased about his short stature all his growing up years. He certainly didn’t need an old girlfriend sticking it to him, about his lack of height. You really need to grow up in that department, and try to be conscious of what can really hurt people.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I bought a four-season cottage last spring, at her insistence. We can both work remotely, so we went out to our new cabin at the lake in June and “set up shop” computer-wise there — a big adventure for us. It was great to be there in the summertime, with so much going on at the beach and in town!

My lady really loved it at first, but it started to get boring when people started heading home. One morning I woke up to see her packing her car up to go back to work in the city. I was disappointed, but understood. I thought I’d surprise her two days later by coming home to the city early one morning, for some early wake-up sex which she usually enjoys.

When I pulled into our driveway, I noticed her car was already gone. I phoned her and she was obviously half-awake somewhere else! I heard a guy’s voice saying, “Who’s that?” I wondered the same thing and said, “I’m home! Are you in someone else’s bedroom?” There was a big silence, while she tried to come up with a story.

Bottom line? We’re in very serious trouble now and she’s staying at her sister’s place. I feel so betrayed and hurt I can hardly get my breath sometimes. I’d probably take her back, if she promised to be true, because I love her so much. But how do you ever get the trust back?

— Heartbroken, Winnipeg

Dear Breaking: This young woman wanted to go “where the action is” so badly she took a big chance on breaking your heart.

When it was over for her at the beach, she packed up without telling you her plan and just took off for the city! When you called her, she was with another guy already, so she probably had him lined up beforehand. That’s not how solid love relationships work!

You both have to live your lives naturally, and do what interests you, as well as have some common interests. But some people — particularly younger folks — satisfy their romantic interests simply by moving from one partner to another.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend is soon going away to university and leaving me behind. I would have gone with her to school if she’d asked me, but she didn’t!

Does this mean she doesn’t love me? She always says “I love you” like she means it when we make love.

— Upset, southern Manitoba

Dear Upset: There’s a difference for a lot of people between saying “I love you” during sex, and “I love you” when they’re not entangled so passionately. They just get carried away with the sensual feelings of and feel it’s appropriate to speak those three words. If you’re really concerned, you can ask your partner about that, although the answer might not be what you hope, and that could really hurt.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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