Don’t plan future together based on first week

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/04/2016 (3451 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: On my third date with my new boyfriend, I mentioned something about the future and he looked at me shocked. I thought we were a couple since we had sex on our first date, and have gone out twice more in a period of a week. I thought it was love at first sight. I asked why he was shocked about what I said since I thought we were “with” each other now. He said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you that impression, but there’s definitely no commitment after one week.” I asked, “But what about the sex?” and he said, “Yeah, that part’s great.”

I don’t know what to do. I don’t just sleep with just anybody. I really liked this guy for a long time — months — and then we finally got together. I thought this was it!

— Hurt and Disappointed, Winnipeg

Dear Hurt and Disappointed: Unfortunately, the months before you actually spent time together alone (and sexually) doesn’t count as relationship time. You have only been seeing each other a week, in his mind. Having sex has been proven to bring women into a closer emotional bond, but guys start to look at the “relationship” (if there is one for them) more critically. You startled this guy — that was the strange look in his eyes. He hadn’t been thinking of any future. He was just having fun playing.

You’ve already hurt and disappointed with this guy. This might be a good time to distance yourself, and the next time you have a crush on a guy, take things a whole lot slower.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Regarding Sleepless in Winnipeg and people waking up in the middle of the night: if you live in the city, it may be because of night air traffic flying in and out of the airport, which the city allows. The decibels of these airplanes are sometimes louder than the noise of a vacuum cleaner starting up beside your head. My suggestion is to take this up with your Member of Parliament.

— Fellow Sleepless in Winnipeg Sufferer, Winnipeg

Dear Fellow Sleepless: In this case, a quick fix would be earplugs, a closed window, or very low music to mask the airplane noise. That’s much faster and easier than moving out of the airport’s flight path. You must research do some research before buying anything else. Hints: don’t live near the rail lines, fire stations and hospitals. Avoid major roadways with all-night traffic and any residential areas near an industrial park with truck traffic and noisy 24-hour manufacturing businesses. Better luck next time!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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