August 4, 2020

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Reaching out for counselling may help you get some shut-eye

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m in the strange position of sleeping alone in a king-sized bed after 30 years of sleeping with a woman. She’s an alcoholic and has left me for another drunk, and truthfully I’m relieved. But I can’t sleep without her. I lie awake until 4 a.m. and then have crazy dreams.

I don’t know how to get used to being single. I don’t want to grab onto a new woman — any woman— but I really need to get to sleep at night. — Dying of Exhaustion, Windsor Park

Dear Exhaustion: A  few sessions with a psychologist or relationship counsellor could help you put to bed the thoughts that keep you wide awake, like: "Will I be alone all my life now?" "Who would want me?" or "How can I meet any one new at my age?"

You might also check out Adventures for Successful Singles, which is offering some spring activities for singles, with strict adherence to COVID-19 protocols.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just read your response to Time’s a-Wastin’. (The writer’s young wife wants a family but doesn’t want to work outside the home. I told him to make a budget for that expensive scenario, and share it with her. — Miss L.)

I think the young man also needs to really consider pet costs, as animals are very expensive, especially as they age.

Presently, our fur baby is on special food, along with four medications, vet and grooming bills, among other things. It costs a lot! — A Daily Reader, Manitoba

Dear Daily Reader: Specialized wet and dry food for pets with medical problems can cost a lot, as do medications and litter for cats. Then there are shots and other vet care. Monthly costs can really pile up for two older animals who have health issues.

A perfectly healthy kitty living on a farm is a different story. Dogs, who will slurp down just about anything, still need better nutrition than scraps.

Pets are wonderful, but like little children, they can be expensive.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The cruelty displayed by the partner of letter writer Awkward Horrible Mess towards both her and her cat is appalling. (Her partner was jealous of the stray cat she took in and doesn’t deny she let it out to get rid of it. I suggested the writer send this new partner packing — Miss L.)

I’d like to suggest there are Facebook groups dedicated to reuniting lost cats with their owners. I would recommend joining up with them to try and locate this poor cat. — Shocked, Want To Help, Winnipeg

Dear Shocked: Thanks! Typing the words "lost and found cats Winnipeg" into Facebook turns up several local groups ready to help. Also, making posters with photos and/or descriptions can help, within a certain radius.

Perhaps this animal is afraid to return to the house, thinking the woman who hoofed him out, might still be living there. Or maybe somebody else has taken the cat in, by now.


Please send your questions and comments to or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.


Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

Read full biography


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