At least Chipmunks’ ‘funishment’ isn’t 3-D

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This article was published 16/12/2011 (5410 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

EARLY in Chipwrecked, the third — and final, we hope — instalment of the Alvin and the Chipmunks series, the mischievous critters are grounded for causing a ruckus aboard a cruise ship. Alvin suggests they “turn punishment into funishment,” and then explains the joke for those who don’t get it.

The fact is, very little funishment transpires from this point on. As a followup to the 2009 Squeakquel, which was a followup to a first movie that should never have been made, there is barely anything in the way of originality. The Chipmunks franchise is over 50 years old now, and clearly, digital trickery can only resuscitate the predictable antics of these half-dozen rodents so much.

Speaking of digital trickery, there’s a blissful lack of 3-D technology here, and it’s worth thanking the folks at 20th Century Fox for their decision to abstain from it; a movie’s worth of listening to Justin Long and Christina Applegate under the influence of helium, combined with a steady barrage of stuff flying into viewers’ faces, would have been too much for even the highest dose of ibuprofen to handle.

Although this review is already making Chipwrecked sound like nothing short of torture (and for those at an early screening who haven’t yet had a coffee, it pretty much is), in truth, aside from the potential side-effects of temporary tinnitus and crushing boredom, the experience isn’t all so bad.

Theodore (Jesse McCartney), for instance, charms the soul in nearly every scene. When he’s clinging to an upside-down doughnut as a life-preserver in the middle of the ocean, relying on the chocolate glaze as a protective barrier (to prevent doughnut disintegration), his appetite for sweets nearly wins out over his appetite for survival. You just want to squeeze the little guy and cram his precious cheeks full of Boston Cream.

There are also a handful of decent zingers from David Cross, who is stuffed in a pelican costume throughout the film and plays what must be the only villain ever to be named Ian. He is also the only character to be even slightly concerned at the fact that a grown man is on vacation with six chipmunks who are constantly referred to as the man’s “sons” and “daughters.”

It’s easy to feel for Ian. He and the munks’ owner, Dave (Jason Lee), accidentally paraglide their way from the cruise ship’s deck over to a deserted island, where Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Brittany, Jeanette and Eleanor are believed to be stranded, and there is no sign of food or shelter, and Ian is stuck in his soggy pelican suit. The screenwriters do provide the “chipwrecked” men with an abundance of pop-culture references to boost their spirits — mostly nods to Lost or Cast Away — but they are about as clever as Alvin’s funishment joke and as nourishing as sand.

Every so often — though less often than in the first two films — there will be a musical number to spice things up. Alvin and the boys put on a decent act, but their female counterparts tend to dress in revealing tube tops and mini skirts, batting their eyelashes and thrusting their hips to and fro, resulting in an odd display of pseudo-sexualized animals. At one point, the Chipettes actually have a dance-off at a nightclub with adult women, which gets totally bizarre.

In a way, director Mike Mitchell (Shrek Forever After) is to blame for these awkward creative decisions; and yet, the task of invigorating the Chipmunks brand is complicated at best. Granted, there is a nostalgia factor with older audiences, but it doesn’t come close to that of The Muppets or even Transformers. Most parents hear those shrill voices and think, “I can’t believe I used to watch that.”

 

— Postmedia News

 

Other voices

Selected excerpts from reviews of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.

 

Puns like these would be unforgivable coming from a human. From high-pitched rodents, they prompt calls for an exterminator.

— Jake Coyle, Associated Press

 

Slightly better than the second film thanks to decent comic performances from Jason Lee and David Cross, though it still manages to waste the talents of the voice actors involved and the songs are even more irritating this time around.

— Matthew Turner, ViewLondon

 

Overall, Mike Mitchell’s assault will appeal only to the under-10 set and send everyone else running for ear plugs.

— Tom Meek, Boston Phoenix

 

It’s probably quite a few people’s idea of hell — being trapped on a desert island with Alvin and The Chipmunks for ear-drum-testing company.

— Tim Evans, Sky Movies

 

To be fair, this franchise was never intended to appeal to anyone over six. But you do wonder how the filmmakers still managed to contrive something so unfunny and trite.

— Derek Adams, Time Out London

 

— Compiled by Shane Minkin