DECISIVENESS… what a concept

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/01/2011 (5643 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Looks like this apple rolled far from the Favre family tree.

“So I got married this morning,” tweeted Brittany Favre, daughter of the ever-waffling quarterback. “Today has been pretty dang good.”

“See how easy it is, Brett?” wrote Adam Hill of the Las Vegas Review-Journal. “Make a decision. Do it. Then let the entire world know in 140 characters or less.”

Letter rip

“Ø Confused about what college football’s upcoming National Letter-of-Intent Day is all about?

“That’s when fans instantly judge how good a 17-year-old they have never seen play might or might not be in three years,” explained Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, “based on whether someone they have never met arbitrarily gave the kid a four-star rating or three.”

Headlines

“Ø At TheOnion.com: “Free Gym Membership Only Remaining Obstacle In Peyton Manning Contract Negotiations.”

“Ø At SportsPickle.com: “Yankees sign Bartolo Colon to serve as CC Sabathia’s stunt double.”

Band at Home Dept.

“Ø “I heard the Marlins tried to sue over losing three home games with the Mariners in June,” noted Seattle Times reader Charlie Gay, “but five Miami attorneys who like U2 defended the band pro-Bono.”

Fishticuffs

“Ø Two unsuspecting ice fishermen in Norton Shores, Mich., got hit upside the head by a fish-wielding woman, the Muskegon Chronicle reported, because she said they put their shanty too close to hers.

Their fellow anglers might want to wait a few weeks before asking, “Get any good strikes lately?”

He’s not Lion

“Ø What, Dick LeBeau, retire at 73?

“Well, I have a standard retort to that,” the Steelers’ Hall of Fame defensive co-ordinator told USA Today. “Hell, I’m not even the oldest coach in the state of Pennsylvania. There’s a guy up there at Penn State that’s 10 years older than me. I feel like the baby.”

Talko time

“Ø Budd Bailey of the Buffalo News, on ex-baseball manager Bobby Valentine directing traffic in Stamford, Conn., during a recent snowstorm: “Apparently you never forget your time as a third-base coach.”

“Ø Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on Daryl Strawberry’s plan to run up all 88 floors of the Empire State Building to raise money for charity: “It’s Daryl’s latest 1,576-step program.”

“Ø Slogan on a T-shirt at TheShirtAlert.com, honouring a certain Packers cornerback: “Water covers 2/3 of the earth / Charles Woodson covers the rest.”

“Ø Fox’s Howie Long, to Packers defensive tackle B.J. Raji, upon learning that Raji sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber simulating a 13,000-foot altitude: “So, you’re a 320-pound Sherpa?”

Pass the Peppers spray

“Ø The NFL has fined Bears defensive end Julius Peppers $10,000 for his helmet-to-helmet hit on Packers QB Aaron Rodgers in the NFC Championship Game.

Too many more of those, you suspect, and he’ll be known as Assault and Peppers.

— The Seattle Times