Dirty drawings a distraction

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This article was published 07/03/2016 (3542 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am deeply in lust with my class instructor. I am almost 20. I am also a doodler, and take care of my lustful thoughts by drawing pictures of him in tiny outfits accenting his wide shoulders and large pecs. I know he’s a weightlifter. Last Friday, I accidentally left my sketch pad behind and he found it. I always sit in the third row. He would have known it was mine right away.

He returned it to me silently today after having it for the weekend. I didn’t know what to say. I just took it back, put it in my backpack and I’ve been blushing ever since. Why didn’t he just say something and get it over with?

— So Embarrassed, Downtown

Dear So Embarrassed: He handed it back in silence because it was more effective that way, and wouldn’t get him into any trouble, either. Some students have been known to twist words around. Since he’s a smart guy, he would have thought it out over the weekend.

Keeping it longer would have looked like he was enjoying it. Saying something would have given you a quote for your friends to hear. He did the intelligent thing.

Now, move further back from the third row so the poor man can feel comfortable teaching, and start taking notes so you pass the class. Leave the incriminating notebook at home from now on.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a man who has found a new hairdresser who does head massages. I absolutely love it to the point where I have been back every second week, not really needing a trim, and certainly not a full haircut. Should I admit to her that’s what I really want? I know women who go in for a wash-and-blow, but I don’t think men generally do. I just want a wash-and-head massage because it’s so relaxing. Does that sound creepy?

— Crazy About Head Massages, St. Vital

Dear Crazy About Head Massages: Why not ask? Perhaps the hairdresser is asked for this combo by different people and is fine with it. Describe that you find it relaxing, and ask her if it’s OK to come in specifically for that treatment. Always ask about things politely and you’ll be surprised how many yes answers you get in life.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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