Spicy ingredients wrong for pizza date

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/03/2016 (3474 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate too much extra-spicy pizza on a first date with a guy I really liked online before we met. Unfortunately, I spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, and was also a smelly date. I guess I was allergic to something in the pizza. This had never happened before. He hasn’t asked me out again, and who can blame him? I don’t want to apologize to a guy I hardly know for the behaviour of my bowels. Should I call him? Should I go the doctor over this?

— Sick Guts Ruined Date, Fort Richmond

Dear Sick Guts: It could have been nerves and/or a reaction to something in the pizza. Some people can’t eat extremely spicy stuff and get away with it. Others can’t eat so much glutinous dough. It seems you scarfed down a lot of pizza. Loading up your stomach like that, especially in a hyper state of nerves, may have caused the problem. A rioting nervous system can affect you top and bottom. Some people throw up; others run to the bathroom repeatedly.

So, experiment. Go back to the same place with an old friend, and order the same pizza. In a relaxed state with your friend, eat a piece or two and see what happens. If you are in gut distress within the half hour, it’s time to see your doctor for a food-sensitivity talk and testing. If nothing happens, you’re probably not food sensitive, just jumpy on first dates and shouldn’t go beyond a coffee. So many online dates don’t go beyond one date anyway, so coffee is cheaper and less time is invested.

Should you call the guy from this pizza date? Why not? He may just be reacting to your embarrassment by staying away. Tell him you got your tummy under control. He’ll probably laugh since guys are not so easily embarrassed by bathroom stuff.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend sleeps right under the covers, head and all. At first, I didn’t know how she breathed under there. After we make love and it’s sleepy time, she burrows down under the covers and stays there. This morning, I got up for a drink of water and came back to the room, which was just getting light. Partway down the bed where she was curled up, she had a breathing hole the shape of an igloo door. It was so cute, it flipped my heart, but I’d still like to make the bedroom more comfortable for her so she can sleep up close to me. What do you suggest?

— The Snuggler, St. Boniface

Dear Snuggler: How about turning the heat up or putting a heater on her side of the bed well away from the covers. Then, you sleep under a sheet, close to her back. Some people swear by fancy electric blankets with dual heat controls. But then there’s position and psychology to consider. Maybe she feels protected under the covers and safe from imagined night dangers. Maybe she’s not used to sleeping upright exposed to the air, and would resent you trying to change her.

How do you think she would feel wearing a fluffy bed jacket and nightcap? Probably not good, since this isn’t the 1800s! Has anybody out in Readerland solved a sleeping problem with their love? Let me know at the addresses below.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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