Fight about affectionate cat was purrfectly silly

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/05/2016 (3785 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I moved out on my own with my cat. I’m 25 and he’s seven. The problem is my newest girlfriend took over my cat. She brings him treats, brushes his fur, calls him pretty names and buys him toys. He and I have been guy buddies, just hanging around with occasional scratches on the ears, and I feed him lots.

Now he’s acting like he’s her damn baby. When she talks baby talk to him and he rolls over on his back smiling and looking for a belly rub, I hate it. I walk into the kitchen in disgust when they’re doing that. A few nights ago, she followed me and asked me what my problem was and if I was jealous. I just dived into the fridge. She said, “You big baby!” Finally, I said, “You might as well take him home, then. He obviously loves you more.” She walked out the door, got in her car and went home. I haven’t heard from her since. What should I do? I really like her, except for her taking over my cat. Why doesn’t she apologize?

— Hurt Guy, St. Boniface

Dear Hurt Guy: You owe her the apology, not the other way around. Like every living animal, your cat wants affection and love, translated into action like petting, grooming and playing. He wants attention and she was giving it to him, plus admiration and fun. Those are all the things you want in a relationship with her and were probably getting, too. Step up your game, Bub. Start today. Buy your lady a big bouquet of spring flowers and send them to her work, where flowers that everybody can see count double. Sign it with, “So sorry! From me and (the cat’s name). We both miss you lots.”

Call her and apologize in your best voice. If she still brushes you off, it’s over. It’s worth a try, though. This is a silly fight for new sweethearts, and she may realize she was competing with you (a little) for the cat’s affections. (Or not, she may just love cats.) By the way, her affection for the cat gets you off the hook when you’d rather be, say, on the computer.

In the meantime, you can add to your cat’s affection for you by doing some of the things your lady does, minus the baby talk. Maybe he’s bored and lonely “just hanging” with you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography