Annoying voice can be fixed

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/05/2016 (3788 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am cursed with an unusual voice and have been told I am loud. I’ve been told to hush, keep my voice down, etc. I find this insulting, and it hurts my feelings. I’m 56 and don’t need to be scolded or commanded like a child. It’s my voice, and it’s the way I talk!

If I am at a restaurant with a friend and we are going to talk about work stuff, she sets the stage, asking me to be mindful of my voice before we commence. I am hurt by this, as I would never correct others or insult them in this way. I now stay away from these people. People say I’m too sensitive, but I was the fat kid in school so I know how “well meaning” people can be. Can I take voice lessons to correct this? Also, what do I say to folks who feel the need to correct me?

— Voice Sounds OK To Me, Winnipeg

Dear Voice Sounds OK: Seldom does anyone’s voice sound to them the way it sounds to other people. We can only find this out by listening to recordings of our own voices, and then most of us say, “That can’t be me!” People working in radio know exactly how they sound and make changes once they hear themselves. In Winnipeg, you can go to a voice coach like Jeff Skinner who works with all kinds of people, such as actors, business people, singers or just regular individuals who want a change, big or small at the Actors’ Training Centre of Manitoba at 62 Albert St. In your case, you would like to get rid of the voice problem that complicates your life and causes you hurt, embarrassment and anger.

You might be interested to know Morgan Freeman got vocal coaching as a young man because he had a high-pitched squeaky voice and he wanted to get into acting seriously. Freeman ended up making his living partly because of his wonderful new voice. You might also get your hearing checked to see if that is the problem, as people who have a hearing problem sometimes raise their voices unknowingly. Whatever you do, drop your defensive attitude and fix the problem.

In other words, stop doing more of what doesn’t work, and welcome a solution.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography