Leave your first wife alone
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/05/2016 (3764 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a man in my mid-30s. I miss my first wife, and my second wife doesn’t do anything for me. She is prettier than my first wife, but that wore off. She’s uneducated and half my jokes and literary references sail over her head. She’s a hairdresser, and a good one. She actually made $10,000 more than I did last year.
My first wife and I broke up because she was introverted and wanted to stay home all the time. I finally told her I wanted “a life in the world, not trapped in a jail cell.” She looked at me with painful eyes I will never forget, and said sadly, “And I guess that makes me the warden, in your life. I’m sorry, I can’t change what I am.” The next week she saw her lawyer.
My second wife is extroverted, but doesn’t want to go out at night and party either as she’s so tired from standing on her feet all day. She’s as dumb as a post and her great interest is reality shows. How did I get into this mess? I know the answer: sexual attraction. Should I try to get my first wife back? I actually loved her. She hasn’t remarried, though she has a guy now.
— Stupid About Love, Winnipeg
Dear Stupid About Love: Don’t go after a third wife without taking yourself to counselling that focuses on your values and beliefs, past mistakes, future hopes and lessons on how relationships work. Being the marrying kind, you need to learn what you need in a lifelong partner, as well as sexual attraction.
Don’t run back to your first wife for a kick in the face. She has moved on and is still an introvert. And it isn’t fair to stay with your second wife and look down your nose at her. Since you need a social life suitable for couples, you need a fun, educated wife who wants to do things such as dancing, golfing, curling, go to concerts, attend plays and travel. And this time, take enough time to hunt — like a couple of years.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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