Mom’s relationship agreement might be loose
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/05/2016 (3460 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother wanders the house like a lovesick puppy if her younger jerk of a boyfriend doesn’t call her — and he most often doesn’t all week. He sees her regularly on Saturday nights, and doesn’t seem to want her to bother him the rest of the week. I’m 35 and know the ways of the world. I think he wants this grateful, fawning woman who is cooking and spoiling him with affection and sex, only once a week. The rest of the week, I don’t know what he does, or who he does it with, but I can guess.
I’m a pretty good spy. I know some of his haunts. Do you think I should tail this guy and find out the truth about him for my mom? I hate to see her this way. When he sees me, he oozes charm, like the slimy snake he is. I’d like to out him, but will that break her heart and make her lonely again? I hate to see her her hungry heart longing for him.
— Loving Daughter, Weston
Dear Loving Daughter: You despise this guy for hurting your mom and want him gone, which is understandable, but before you interfere, how about you talk to her about that? And think different moves out to different conclusions first. Let’s say you go out with a friend and start spying on this guy and get caught. Then what? What if you discover he’s seeing another woman, or more than one? How bad is that? Do you even know what agreement he and you mother have? It may not be exclusivity, just sex buddies, but she cares more.
Before you put on your deerstalker hat and cloak, Sherlock, at least find out what the arrangement is with your mom. Maybe she needs a little help and advice, not someone sneaking around to get evidence to get rid of her sex buddy. Maybe all they have is a weekly dinner and canoodling agreement, but she wants more now. Maybe she needs to hear there are other people out there who would be much more loving, and you could help her find someone new online, and even help her filter out the bad bets. Help her, don’t hurt her.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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