Awkward family reunion following hitchhiker hookup

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/09/2019 (2211 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a young man hitchhiking when I was travelling to Vancouver and back by car on vacation. He and I rode a long ways together to southern Saskatchewan. He was in his late 20s — much younger than I — but we never asked ages.

However, we were on a beautiful trip, stopping here and there to see things, and tenting under the stars a few nights, so we slept together and kept each other warm in many ways.

Then we got to the place where he was headed: a farm in southeastern Alberta where his parents live. They gave me a meal, and his dad gave me some quizzical looks. I went on my way. I am back home now in Winnipeg and have pleasant memories of the young man.

Then yesterday, I got an old-fashioned letter from him thanking me for everything and saying how much he enjoyed the trip with me. Then he said his dad had felt he remembered me from somewhere and that he finally figured out where — the Winnipeg Folk Festival. His group of friends camped three days together there one year, and he had a big crush on me in the campground, and on the last night his dad said it was “special.”

I don’t remember this man’s dad at all, but then who remembers much from camping at folk festivals where the air was thick with weed and everybody had a beer in their hand? Besides, I was always there with my sisters and we are similar-looking and our names start with the same letters.

What does this man need me to say? I’ll be writing him back when he settles in Vancouver and gives me an address. What should I say?

— Folk Fest Memory Lapse, Winnipeg

Dear Memory Lapse: This is a time for “personal politics.” This man wants to know if he and his dad slept with the same woman. There’s no need for weirdness between father and son over this. You can use humour in your letter and say, “Well, your dad had trouble remembering folk fest parties, and so do I. I honestly don’t remember him — he may have mistaken me for another girl, like one of my sisters as we look alike and our first names are similar.”

Also, tell him you’ll always have happy and clear memories of your travels together, and that you’re glad to have met him on the road, and you were able take him safely to his destination. That should calm down his upsetting thoughts.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a great big baby. The grandkids love him. Me? Not so much. I call him the Laziest Guy in the World, and as he grows older, he’s also a contender for the cheapest.

The other day I hired a cleaning lady and he hit the roof. “Why do we need a cleaner when the house is always clean?” he asked, and I said, “Because I just quit!”

I told him I was tired of being his wife and mother. I was screaming by this point. I still work and he’s retired. He does nothing but mess up the place. I buy most of the food and clothing.

He just lies around reading the paper and watching the TV and gambling on the computer. Recently, he’s been sneaking to the casino with his other retired buddies. And he’s sulking over money for a cleaning lady? What do you suggest? I will leave him, if I have to, to save myself. Don’t suggest couples counselling because it will be too much money for him to pay half.

— Teetering On The Edge, North End

Dear Teetering: Hold that line. You want a house cleaner, so you hang onto this one. See your accountant about the gambling, and what to do to protect yourself and your assets. Go to relationship counselling alone, but also invite him to come along.

Also, try to spend more time out of the house having fun with friends. You must stop being a mommy to an overgrown boy. And, one night, insist on going to the casino with him, on the pretense of learning the best games from him. See where he spends his time and money with the boys. If he’s getting into trouble, call Gamblers Anonymous about help for gamblers and their mates.

Let him see you’re questioning the viability of this marriage. He may have no idea how serious his bad behaviour is and what it may cost him — and sooner than he thinks!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.