Roomie deals royal blush at fellows’ poker party

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This article was published 24/10/2019 (2550 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: At my home poker party, my friend — actually my housemate who pays half the rent — blew it with me. He played the secretly taped sound of himself “making it” with a girl he claims he picked up at the bar. She was loud and said a lot of highly complimentary things about his body he probably doesn’t deserve.

I think it’s actually his new “real” girlfriend, because I think I recognized the voice in places. I doubt he has the nerve to pick a woman up at the bar anyway. His new girlfriend is nice enough but tough, and she’d break his arm in three places if she found out he made that tape and played it for a bunch of guys.

I was horrified. Other guys were embarrassed and told him to shut it off. One guy just threw his cards on the table and said, “You guys are pigs!” and went home. Now I have a roommate I’m not sure I want anymore. Should I talk to him about it, or kick him out?

— Don’t Need His Money, River Heights

Dear Don’t Need His Money: Before you throw him out, find a way to get rid of that tape, or make him erase it in front of you. Don’t take his word he’ll “do it later.”

Then tell this pig he should hunt for another place to live because you’ve had enough of his bad taste — and that he’s out of the poker group meetings, at your house anyway. He’ll probably protest. Tell him you think you recognize the voice of the woman and watch his face. There should be “tells” if you’re a good poker player, and he’s guilty of the crime. As for alerting his girlfriend, do it if you’re sure the voice is hers. At least warn her that he’s a guy who’ll do this kind of thing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Halloween is coming and I want to wear a Canadian political mask at the costume party. My girlfriend thinks it’s a bad idea because some people are going to be angry with me. Last year we went as Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf and I was sweating bullets under the furry wolf costume with the big, heavy head. She was entirely comfortable as “Little Red” but she wouldn’t let me take the head off. “It spoils the effect!” she said. Frankly, I think it’s her turn to put up with my costume. What do you think?

— Bought the Mask! Downtown

Dear Bought: It’s Halloween, and for some, it’s all about being their alter egos — someone you could never be in daily life. You should be allowed to go as the person or beast or creature of the night that tickles your, er, fantasy on Halloween. Do you have to be politically correct? Some people would argue there are no rules that night.

Look, you’ll be the one taking the heat, so you’ll need to be prepared with your wittiest answers and, if it gets ugly, for your lady to spend a lot of time with her friends on the other side of the room.

Send questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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