Husband spoils Halloween

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/10/2019 (2470 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Halloween is coming, and that’s trouble with a capital T around this house. We always have the best Halloween house and trees in the neighbourhood for the big night because of little me — a tiny woman of 5-2. I didn’t see my husband doing anything yet again this year to help me.

Once again, I climbed the ladders, with help from my neighbourhood girlfriends and their husbands — I served drinks and food to them — while my husband manufactured excuses to get in his truck and run away. He’s so embarrassing. Other husbands join in and help out with their own houses — and mine!

I won’t let him spoil my Halloween scene, but he really gets on my nerves in October. Last night, I couldn’t manage to sleep beside him because I was so disgusted and embarrassed with his behaviour in front of our neighbours. I went and slept with one of my young daughters.

On Halloween night, he goes back to work for the evening for no good reason. When I ask him why he won’t help, he says, “I don’t believe in it. Get off my back.” Believe in what? It’s just fun.

— Married to a Halloween Grinch, West Kildonan

Dear Married to Grinch: Some people had parents or churches that declared Halloween festivities to be evil, and made it a big deal to not let their children participate. Could this be the problem? Ask him exactly what he believes Halloween to be. Ask nicely, without shouting — and tell him what it means to you. You might say: “It’s just fun to me! Like saying ‘Boo!’ Nothing more weighty than that.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is a response to Sick to Death of Teaching, the young woman who wants to quit in her first term. (I told her since she thought it threatened her mental health, she should resign now so the principal can find a replacement by Christmas — and she can look for a new path, Miss L.)

Don’t give up a love for inspiring children to learn, due to the institution. There can be the right fit for you somewhere to use your talents and education in a way more in alignment with your philosophy.

Some schools follow different styles of timelines or use project-based learning. I know of a school in Winnipeg that endorses daily morning walks, gardening, community involvement and caring for chickens.

— Find What You Love! Winnipeg

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I took my new honey out to my cabin, which is heated by fireplaces and portable heaters. She didn’t like all the ways of getting cosy without central heat, and wanted to go home early Sunday morning.

My ex-girlfriend would have been begging to stay until Monday, but she was a pain in the butt in her own way, so I don’t want her back. But this new lifestyle clash is making me wonder about the new woman in my life. I am passionate about going to the cabin year-round. She is suited to me in all other ways. How much of a problem is this? I really hate to say goodbye to the first woman who’s 100 per cent on track with me sexually.

— Important Decision, North Kildonan

Dear Important: This relationship is not going to work. Cabin life is so much a part of what you love in this world — you want to go into the wild four seasons of the year, and she can’t stand four days. It doesn’t make sense to partner with a woman who’s great in bed with you, but hates your lifestyle and doesn’t want to waste her weekends in the bush.

You would be doomed to spend a lot of time apart, and for most people, that’s not what a great relationship consists of. Here’s the good news: there are many other women who are magnificent lovers (at least that’s what they tell me!) if you take the time to search them out. Check the cottage issues out before going to bed.

You need a woman who loves to throw logs on the fire and cuddle under a red-and-black checked blanket while wearing a coonskin hat. Good luck with this!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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