Rude mattress mate got what he deserved

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/10/2019 (2170 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The other night, I was in bed with a sex buddy. The phone rang and it was a girl I’ve wanted to get together with for the past year. I recognized the number because I have left messages a lot and it’s an easy number to remember.

I left my buddy in the midst of the action, and went into the living room with my phone to take the call.

When I came back just 15 minutes later, she was dressed and gathering up her stuff and trying to run past me out the door.

Then I saw that she had squirted my bedroom mirror, and all the bedding, with the word “loser” in shaving foam.

I grabbed her hand as she tried to get by, and she whacked my face hard with her purse, and ran.

The woman I really wanted had just called to chat and let me know she wasn’t all that interested and had another guy now. I can’t win for losing.

Why do other guys get all the good ones and I get all the losers? — Got Nobody Now! Downtown

Dear Got Nobody: You and your sex buddy are both rude and immature. You take the cake by leaving her in the middle of sex to go talk to another woman! You might have expected the woman you left in the lurch to show her temper.

Your punishment for doing such a rude and tasteless thing is to clean up the foamy mirror and bed, have the first of a few cold showers and then talk to a wiser, older friend — or a relationship counsellor — and upgrade your act.

You need to grow up now! No wonder the other woman didn’t want you, either.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My beautiful daughter, now in her early 20s, has been hiding her new man from her dad and me.

I got pregnant with her when I was only 19, and married her father — and it’s been a good marriage despite the odds, though we struggled financially. We do know all about sneaking around from our teenage days.

My husband decided to find out who she’s seeing. He heard she’d been seen around town with “an older guy.” Who could it be?

We asked her outright and she said, “Nobody serious,” and then her cheeks flamed up the way they do when she’s lying. She’s stopped coming home much lately.

She lives with two girlfriends in a suite in a big house. Her dad started taking late-night car cruises over there — and found out she’s never parked at her house at night.

Last night, he got lucky and spotted her “boyfriend” dropping her off to pick up her car — and it was a guy we know from our golf club. He’s fun, very good-looking, in his late 30s and divorced.

We are shocked, and don’t approve of him with our daughter. But we don’t know him well enough to know about children he may have. What should we do now? — Upset Parents of Only Child, Crescentwood

Dear Upset Parents: Chastising your daughter for seeing an older man behind your back might be a first reaction — but it’s a bad mistake. It’d send her running into deeper involvement with this older man.

Your daughter knows your story — early pregnancy, married barely out of high school, struggling with money problems. Maybe she doesn’t want that “broke young couple” scene for herself.

Your daughter and this man — early 20s and late 30s — could still have a good marriage and produce a family, you know.

Your best bet is to say, “We know the man you’re seeing, and can figure out why you didn’t tell us, but you didn’t have to sneak. How serious is it?”

You might also calmly ask about his divorce and the situation with his wife and kids, if there are any. And the last question: is he open to having babies in a new relationship? And then, leave it at that.

Act open and generous and “with it” even if you don’t feel that way. Invite the pair to dinner with some relatives and friends to make a bigger group, so it isn’t a clear-cut inquisition setup.

By accepting the relationship and bringing it into the open, it forces both their hands. If he’s just playing her, he absolutely won’t accept, and your daughter will wonder why, when you two seem so accepting and open to it.

Here’s something else to consider. For her, this may just be a short affair with an older, experienced guy, and he may be the serious one and be crazy about her.

She may have been the one wanting to hide the relationship, not him, because she isn’t sure how she feels about him. Then for sure, she won’t ask him to the dinner.

Good luck and please write back with how it goes!

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.