Tips for teddy bear to find himself a bossy woman

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This article was published 12/01/2020 (2434 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a sweet-natured guy who is attracted to dominant women. I don’t want another mild person in my love life. I’d rather be told what to do by a dominating woman, in bed and out. Is that sick?

The trouble is, the women I have found who like to dominate actually want a man who’s a bit of challenge. I’m no challenge, just a big teddy bear. Got any ideas for how I can find a woman who wants a sweetheart of guy, just waiting to be told what to do and how to do it? I’d like to marry one of those women.

— Sweet and Submissive Teddy Bear, River Heights

Dear Sweet and Submissive: You need a woman who’s not dramatically dominant, but naturally bossy. The right woman for you needs to enjoy being bossy in and out of the bedroom, and get a kick out of making you please her. That’s all! You don’t need a wild dominant, with whips and chains. You just need a pushy woman, looking for a pushover. That’s you, Teddy Bear!

That doesn’t mean you can be submissive when there’s a search to be made. You have to get out there and make it known what you like and what you’re looking for. A smiling comment such as “I love bossy women!” is a pretty clear statement to be made at a party or in a bar group, and the comment will quickly make the rounds.

You also need to dress for success if you’re thinking long-term and marriage. The better turned-out submissive you are, the faster you’re going to attract a woman who would just love to tell you what to do — and maybe for the rest of your life. You know the old-fashioned vow? “To honour and obey from this day forward.” That just might suit you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m freaking! My boyfriend and I are breaking up. It started on New Year’s Day after his mother was a witch to me at the big dinner at my house, complaining about everything on the table not being done the right way — the way she’d have done it!

She hasn’t made a big dinner for the last 10 years.

So, she got into heavy drinking and swearing by dessert time, and I called her out on the back porch after dinner was over. I let her have it and told her to go home and NEVER come back. My boyfriend caught the end of this fight and grabbed his mother’s coat and purse and hustled her out to his car and back to her house.

When he came back — everyone had heard the fighting, felt embarrassed and left — he and I had a fight! The upshot? She is never to come to my house again, and I’m not sure I want to marry him any more, since he is her only son and he’ll want to take her in one day. It’s part of his culture.

I’ve been married before, so I am not blind as to what hell marriages can be! I told him today I think we’d best postpone any living-together plans, as I never want HER to be under my roof again, for even a dinner, and she will NOT be living with us when she can no longer live alone.

He didn’t say anything, just nodded his head. He and I both know he’s such a softy he’d take her in, rather than put her anywhere. So there we are! Big Mama is breaking us up for the new year, and she was smiling that dirty little smile of victory when she left.

— Sad to See Her Son Go, West End

Dear Sad: Why let her win, if it’s him you love and he loves you? If you don’t need to live together, you could continue as you are, with perfect freedom and lots of sleepovers and you’d never have to go to his mother’s place again, even for dinner.

But, if it’s marriage you want at this point, Big Mama does win. He’d be trying to bring her into your shared home at some point, rather than have her kicking and screaming all the way to a seniors’ residence — no matter how nice it is.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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