Try to shift numbers talk to games

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/04/2020 (2344 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Dad might as well have a pulpit at the end of the table with a big dollar sign on the front! I’m getting so sick of listening to him. He’s an accountant working “remotely” at home.

He’s constantly harping on “young people not knowing how to manage their money.” Not that he’s teaching us anything! He’s just full of himself, and criticizing and lecturing my brother and me, because he doesn’t have enough work to do these days.

He picks dinner time to deliver his money messages, and ruins everybody’s digestion. I see the warning sign — this thing where he rubs up one side of his nose — and my stomach starts churning. My mother used to side with him, but I can see she’s getting really annoyed. One or the other of us will often excuse ourselves early from the table — appetite spoiled — and leave everyone in awkwardness.

We get these crummy allowances now, mostly used on gas for errands. We can’t work our old part-time jobs because they were in public places. How can my brother and I (we’re 16 and 17) handle our dad, who is constantly present and spoiling our meals?

— Sick of His Preaching, River Heights

 

Dear Sick of Preaching: Rather than back off, you two should try pushing right into the money discussion together. You could start by saying: “Here’s the money we bring in — just our allowances — and here are our expenses. Most is spent on gas and some of that is to help you and mom. Now, what do you really think we could save?” Dad may see his only choice is to raise your allowances or let this conversation go until you’re able to work again.

Maybe you could find something totally different to talk about after that. Your parents need to learn how to engage with you a different way — by teaching you adult forms of recreation. This could be an opportunity to forge a new bond that will last into adulthood. Suggest learning some adult card games from them, like bridge.

Also try teaching both parents some video games they might enjoy playing with you, and later with other adults, such as aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My second wife is a speed queen. Now that the roads are dry, she can hardly wait to get out there and speed down them in our cars. I know by the gas (I check the gauge) that she’s driving all over the dang place, although she won’t confess to how far she goes, and how fast she’s ripping down country roads.

I know she’s bored witless in the house. I try to catch her and warn her every time she goes out, keys in her hand. Her answer is always the same — a big sexy grin and, “Want to come with me, Sport?”

Seriously, I don’t. I love her madly, but she worries me so much. I’d go crazy if I lost her.

— Helpless Husband, St. Boniface

 

Dear Helpless Husband: People who knowingly marry daredevils — those who love driving fast or jumping out of airplanes — are usually turned on by the excitement that surrounds them. Then they get married to them, and fear losing that person in an accident. If it’s a woman, she often puts her foot on the brakes after she has babies, but not always.

Once social distancing due to the COVID-19 pandemic ends, your best bet will be to try to encourage your wife to channel her speeding urges into organized car racing with safety rules and a real track instead of back roads with no safeguards. And, hard as it is, now that you can’t bear the thought of losing her, you have to learn to accept her daredevil side.

What is your choice? Try to squelch that wild spirit or break it entirely? She’s more likely to leave you than let you do that.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We have a house full of pets and not enough to do, so we finally struck on the idea of teaching them simple tricks. We are amazed at how fast the dogs all learned to play fetch in the house and our backyard — with all kinds of crazy things other than balls.

The cats, kept in the house, took a little longer than the dogs to actually bring any objects back. But they quickly took to playing hallway “hockey” with empty toilet paper rolls, old lipsticks or anything that rolls — and they play with us! Cats will also shove a piece of paper back and forth with you under a bathroom door when you’re on the throne. It’s a good little game when they’re waiting out there for their owner anyway!

Our dumb little birdie can say one word now — “Hello!” Well, it’s a start, and it’s made our house a lot more fun. Just wanted to pass this tip along.

— Family Circus, North Kildonan

 

Dear Family Circus: Way to go! Check animal training methods out online and you’ll be amazed at what little creatures can do. In many cases, they have been limited by their humans’ lack of knowledge. For instance, some birds really love to dance!

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.