Boxing Day shopping’s a bust, so just kick back

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/12/2020 (2066 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I must confess, I’ve never known what Boxing Day is, except eating leftovers, returning gifts and shopping. We’re just going to be the four of us here in our household, and we’re not going to be able to chase the deals this year, because of COVID. I’d like to do a different kind of day, but I’m at a loss. Are we supposed to be boxing things up for the poor, or what?

— Sorry, Don’t Know, North Kildonan 

Dear Don’t Know: Boxing Day was traditionally a gifting day for the servants in upper-class England. The help, who mostly lived-in, got a day off to go see their families and exchange “Christmas boxes,” the old British expression for Christmas gifts. They couldn’t get Christmas Eve or Christmas Day off because the servants had to cook and tend to their employers’ fancy celebrations.

In early days, upper-class people who moved to other countries in the British Empire such as Canada, and still had servants, kept up the tradition, but it faded out. The name of the day remains. Now it’s just a day off, and it’s often been a day to see “the other side of the family” or have a party for friends, who were busy with their own relations Christmas Day.

That won’t be happening this year, due to the lockdown. So, for some, it will be a rest-up day, but many will be out ice skating and cross-country skiing, or inside watching sports on TV. It’s also time for people to play board games or new computer games, or just get on the phone to friends and more distant relatives to have a big old chat about how Christmas went down in this strange year of 2020.

As for what people eat on Boxing Day, many have ham or roast beef, their favourite international foods or simply call out for pizza. It’s time for the major cooks to put up their feet.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I overheard my sister say on her phone, in a very low voice, she plans to get rid of her current boyfriend after she gets her Christmas present from him and before the new year starts. She can’t even wait for New Year’s Day to get rid of him.

Personally, I’m very excited about this. I’m younger by two years, but I have been in love with her boyfriend all along, and I think he likes me back. But how do I get him? I’m in Grade 10, but very mature for my age, everyone says. I’m not as hot-looking as my sister, but I’m much nicer, if I do say so myself.

“This would not be my first rodeo,” as people say. I’ve had a boyfriend for two years and I broke up with him after the first wave of COVID, because he was a jerk. We didn’t go all the way, but very close. I’m pretty good at what comes before actual sex, and much more fun and affectionate than my “cool” sister. How long do I have to wait after she breaks up with him to let him know how I feel about him?

— Younger Sister, Winnipeg

Dear Younger Sis: How about never? You could lose a sister over this! At least wait until the coronavirus has faded, which may take the best part of a year, and will allow some time for your sister to get past most of her feelings — bad and good — about this guy. Hopefully, she’ll find another guy she likes a lot better.

Still, she is going to hate it if you go after him, so be prepared. She won’t want him in your house for any reason after the breakup. She doesn’t want to look at his annoying and/or broken-hearted expression, and certainly not in her home. Count on this: She sure doesn’t want you, her little sister, to be making out with her ex, and there will be big trouble over that, no matter how long you wait.

He might agree to hang out with you just to upset her, or he may still have feelings for her and want to be near her to win her back. The good news? He’s not the only guy of his type. Try to find somebody else who is a bit like him, but closer to your age, and has had nothing to do with your sister.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother made an ominous announcement before Christmas that “things are going to change drastically around this house.” I should mention my mother is a recently “dry” alcoholic, at this point. She may not be drinking but she’s still capable of just about anything.

Our father left her because of her temper, her verbal lashings and her gambling. (Not to mention all the drinking!) She cleaned up her drinking to try to get him back, but no one’s sure about the gambling, and our dad shows no signs of coming back.

Now she’s dangling a younger boyfriend in front of our father, by introducing her new guy to the old friends she once shared with him. If she asks this younger guy to live with us — which we fear is her next move — my brother and I don’t want to be here for the honeymoon, or the months or years after. The idea makes me sick.

I don’t know where we can go. Dad has an apartment now. Please help us.

— Caught in the Middle, River Heights

Dear Caught: Ask your mother outright if she has asked the new boyfriend to move in, and if he has said yes. You may be worrying about this for nothing. Moving in with a woman and her two teenagers may not be appealing to most guys. So, your mother’s threat needs to be brought out in the open and faced, whatever it is.

Then, if your dad is the level-headed one, talk to him about what Mom is threatening. See if he could take you in to live with him in a bigger apartment, or he could perhaps rent a house.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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