Parties are out, so ring in new year with a bang

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/12/2020 (2080 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We don’t know what to do with New Year’s Eve this year. It’s always been a big night for us to reconnect with friends from other parts of our lives. My big indoor/outdoor deck dance party is out of the question, as is the annual badminton tournament in the long driveway, and the beer-fuelled sing-along in front of the fire — with three guitars and a drummer playing.

I could just cry when I think of what we’re missing — but I’m a big boy of 48. I haven’t had any fun with my buddies and their wives for months. Don’t you dare suggest a wild game of Scrabble with my poor wife, who is sick to death of hanging out with me. What to do?

— Sulking Party Boy, Tuxedo

 

Dear Sulking: Fireworks would suit a man with your personality! Fireworks stores are offering curbside pick-up of fireworks, and they have tips and suggestions about where you can legally set them off and what permission you might need, if any.

I’ve personally had great success with fireworks, for small groups of as few as two. Hot tip: You must be aware of the noise ordinance (usually 11 p.m.), but it’s dark early in the winter, and any time after supper would be perfect unless it rains… of course it’s not going to rain!

Happy New Year and consider this private fireworks evening as training for New Year’s Eve next year when you can have a real blow-out, with one of your old-style parties, only this time fireworks will be the crowning glory.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing in response to the dad who did not like his brother buying his children gifts bigger than he and his wife could buy. He signs his letter Not Jealous, yet I fear he is nothing but.

Miss L. suggested the dad tell his brother the kids would love him even more if he got to know them better and to ask him to limit the money spent on big presents for the kids.

My children also receive very generous gifts from a wealthy uncle, and smaller gifts from the rest of the family. They are grateful for all. We don’t dictate gift giving. A gift is a gift. Your only job when you receive one is to thank the giver.

Why would this dad not allow his children to receive these great gifts? I think he is thinking of his feelings and not those of his own children. Show gratitude to this uncle rather than disdain!

— Grateful, Winnipeg

 

Dear Grateful: I also know of a family where their unmarried uncle was like a second Santa Claus and gave wonderful gifts the parents could never afford. They had eight kids and he was single and loaded. Both the children and the parents were tickled to death with this situation.

But this man who wrote me felt differently; he felt undermined by his brother’s largesse. He needed to ask his bro to limit the value of the gifts which outdid him (and Santa Claus). His feelings were important, and he did invite his brother to spend more quality time with the kids, once COVID has settled.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read the letter where you discouraged a new relationship happening within the same apartment block — too close if things went badly.

Well, 38 years ago I met a marvellous, funny man who lived in the same apartment as me! I told myself all the reasons we shouldn’t flirt and date, but thankfully I threw caution to the wind and went out with him. We have now been married 36 love-filled years! We have shared wonderful events and challenging events (illness, deaths and losses of jobs), but through it all we have had deep love, respect and passion for each other!

For me, flirting and dating with that guy in the same building has been an amazing love story. I have never regretted it!

I think Flirting in the Elevator should take the chance (with COVID cautions right now). If the young woman doesn’t want to risk it, she has the freedom to say no. If she says yes, then they have both agreed that the risk/benefit ratio leans towards benefit.

If it doesn’t work, he should take the stairs as both of them heal.

— Elevator Flirtation 38 Years Ago

 

Dear Elevator Flirtation: You were one of the lucky ones — the flirtation worked out beautifully and there was no awkwardness. Also, there was no pandemic threat to complicate things.

Even if they both live alone and could choose to socialize under code red restrictions, these two are strangers and would need to have a safe time while getting to know and trust each other. Extremely difficult right now!

But still, congratulations on your own long and happy marriage which started in an elevator in safer times.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.