Nocturnal noshing nothing to fret over

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This article was published 16/03/2022 (1641 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Since he retired, my beloved husband has started getting up in the night to eat — baking mostly. He usually doesn’t come back to bed for a whole hour.

So, the other night, I sneaked and followed him downstairs, and waited in the dark hallway. Then I saw him going into the living room, carrying ice cream and cookies in a bowl. He sat down and turned on the TV, with no sound. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

He just sat there watching. I went back upstairs in a trance and sat on the bed. Is he losing his mind?

—Shaking My Head, Transcona

Dear Shaking My Head: It’s interesting this started once he retired and was home full-time. Maybe he misses his time away from you, and just needs an hour when you’re zonked out that he can relax in the middle of the night, all alone.

The best thing you could do is say to him: “I know you get up at night to eat and watch TV. I’m fine with it. Everybody needs alone time. Feel free to turn the TV sound on low. I love you, and just want you to be happy.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our next door neighbour has been staying inside this winter behind the six-foot snowbanks. I call him a concerned citizen — concerned about everybody else’s business.

I’d like the snowbanks to stay, and keep him from peering into my yard and gardens, asking questions and making comments. Should I build a fence?

— Get Back! Charleswood

Dear Get Back: It seems this neighbour is just trying to be friendly during nice weather — and could be starved for conversation. A high fence isn’t really necessary, but a wall of tall bushes around the backyard would discourage him and provide enough privacy for you to be in the backyard without his presence. Gardening centres employ experts who’ll know the best fast-growing tall plants you’d need.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I grew up in a loving home with my parents — two gay women. One of my two moms is actually bisexual. She lived with my bio-dad for two years and gave birth to me. Then she met the woman who was the love of her life.

My being straight was not unexpected by my two moms. But their situation has been awkward for me at times — especially when I started dating girls and bringing them home. Now I’m working and living with a friend, and have a new relationship with a woman.

My worry is she seems a little too cool with my lesbian moms’ situation. She’s always asking how this and that works for them, and is very interested in how I felt being the straight son in that situation.

She finally confessed this weekend she had a lesbian lover back in college, but thought she couldn’t go that route because she wanted children too much.

I’m feeling upset. Am I paranoid for thinking she might be entertaining the idea of using me for a baby? She’s always raring to go over and visit my moms again. What is she up to? This is getting me worried.

— Definitely Not Her Sperm Donor, Winnipeg

Dear Definitely Not: It may be time to say goodbye. You’re hearing warning bells, not wedding bells. It’s best to trust your instincts than to go along with something that’s feeling hinky — and then find out too late you were right.

This young woman you’re dating may think a man with your background would be a sympathetic father in the background while she explores a different relationship path.

It’s also possible she may simply be curious about your upbringing. Either way, it’s not feeling right to you, so it’s probably time to wish her good luck, and send her on her way.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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