Bond with new dog, let old wounds heal

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/06/2022 (1552 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My recent ex and I are fighting over custody of the dog who was our substitute baby. When she kicked me out for cheating (yes, I was guilty of that), I gave her the house, but then she went ahead and kept our dog, too!

I was heartbroken over the pup, who was closer to me that she was. She laughed at my tears! I’m not even supposed to go over to see him. My ex screamed at me to stay the hell away, or she would call the cops. That’s absurd. I’m not going to steal our dog, but I miss him so much.

I have a new house with a big fenced-in yard already and my ex is living in the old house with a new female roommate. How can I get at least shared custody of my dog?

— Missing My Dog Badly, Riverview

Dear Missing: Some couples who are feeling finished emotionally can share custody of a pet, but that situation is rare indeed. You’d be better off getting a new dog who loves you rather than continuing to fight over the dog you managed to share until the split.

Nothing good can come from you and your ex constantly seeing each other at the door over the dog-sharing.

What you need now is to start healing from the fight over your beloved pet. And what your ex needs is to heal from the humiliation of your cheating. That means getting out of each other’s faces and each having your own pet. There are any number of rescue pets needing homes since the pandemic started to ease. It’s sad, but maybe you could help another animal this way!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think I’m in love with the town doctor. Before I go any further, I want to say I have never been his patient, although he does work in the same medical practice as my own doctor.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I look for him whenever I’m in the vicinity of the clinic. It’s a small town, so that’s regularly.

I truly feel like I’m going insane because I haven’t even met him.

All I know about him comes from the community newspaper when they announced his arrival. The photo — showing he’s close to my age — held my attention, and the article said we have similar summer interests. I often dream of having someone to share my wilderness adventures.

There’s just one problem: I’ve been shy my whole life. I’ve never had the courage to tell my crushes how I felt or to make myself seem available to them, so the opportunities slipped away. Or else I just watched the man from a distance as he found someone else — and I broke my own heart. Loneliness is a constant companion.

I have a successful career that I love. All I’ve ever truly wanted in life was a husband and children, and here I am staring down a future of being alone because I’m too afraid to try. What should I do?

— Afraid to Try, Rural Manitoba

Dear Afraid To Try: This single doctor who just happens to enjoy the same summer interests you do may seem like he dropped from heaven into your little town. Unfortunately, he’s in no position to get involved with you, even if he wanted to.

Doctors are in a very difficult position romance-wise, where patients are concerned — even if that patient generally sees a different doctor within the same clinic. When the usual doctor goes away or is off duty, guess who is expected to cover their appointments and look after treatment?

You don’t know this fellow, and even though he looks really good in the newspaper article, he isn’t available for romance in the new community where he’ll be working. It’d be a bad idea to pursue him, but you can enjoy him from a little distance. Chances are strong he may have a partner out of town already, but it wasn’t revealed in the newspaper story.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: After my mental health destroyed my last job and my relationship, I decided to get help. I got both counselling and medication for my emotional trauma and physical illness. Things were going great until this week when I found out my physician is soon retiring and my therapist is moving out of province in July. I feel a growing panic!

It was so hard to get these services. Also, once my prescriptions run out, I worry doctors will think I’m shopping around for medication, and will red-flag my file. I’ll never make any progress, and all this work will be for nothing. I’m upset and don’t know what to do about it!

— Spiralling Downwards, Wolseley

Dear Spiralling: If you ask both your physician and your therapist to set you up with professionals they know and trust — ones who are similar in beliefs and methods of treatment — you’ll soon find yourself on steady ground. You need to ask for this help right away. Good medical professionals do care, and want your progress to continue, so they will help you set that up.

Please send questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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