Give partner’s sober, unexpected reunion a shot

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/06/2023 (1168 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We arrived up at our cabin and were greeted by a man, who was already moving stuff into the rental cabin next door. The man said hello to me like he knew me, but I drew a blank. He was a totally bald man, athletic build and very tall. Then he spoke my first name and said, “Don’t you recognize me?”

I still didn’t. So, he said, like some kind of joke, “Then I’m not going to tell you.” I shrugged my shoulders and said, “So be it!” Then I went into our cabin. Two hours later my husband drove up and he said, “You’ll never guess who’s renting next door!” And I said, “Go ahead, tell me!”

He replied, “My old drinking buddy from way back in college. When he found out about this one beside us, he thought it’d be fun to come up with his wife and stay next door.” I must have looked sick.

He quickly added, “By the way, he quit drinking long ago, so no worries.” I’ve done nothing but worry since. My husband is finally sober now, and I want to keep him that way. Please help!

— Drinking Buddies Reunited, Lake Manitoba

Dear Reunited: You may be imagining this old drinking buddy saying to your husband, “You won’t get hooked on just one beer,” or “Your wife won’t notice, if you chew gum!”

Two guys who’ve both quit drinking are actually less dangerous together than having an active drinking buddy next door who’s constantly offering your man a drink. So make up big pitchers of cold, non-alcoholic summer drinks, and give them a chance to reconnect now they’re both sober. Hopefully you and the wife next door will become supportive friends, and all four of you can have a good summer together.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was a high school teacher for almost a decade. I recently ran into a former student who’s been married and is already divorced. She was very flirtatious and gave me her business card and scribbled a “home number” on the back.

She made deep eye contact and said slowly, “Call me. Let’s go for coffee.” I want to, and I’m no longer a teacher. Besides, I’m 12 years older than she is. Is there any kind of problem now?

— Her Former Teacher, Winnipeg

Dear Former Teacher: If old classmates of hers get wind of this, they may say, “Guess who our old teacher Mr. So-and-So is dating! I wonder when that started.” Most people really won’t care at this point, but some will get right on the phone to their besties from the old days, with that little gossip gem. Will that bother you? If so, back off now.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My daughter raises her voice in stores if she can’t get something she wants. She has a loud voice for a little girl, and people can hear her wailing, “But I want it, Mommy!”

It’s been easier to give in to her, than to have concerned mothers popping their heads up to see what’s going on. Admittedly, I can sound pretty upset, but it’s not as if I’m going to slap her, although sometimes I wish I could. The difficult thing is I usually have shopping to get done for the family. I can’t just take her outside to the parking lot and lock her in the car. What can I do?

— Fed Up Mommy, North End

Dear Fed Up: You may only have to do this once. Warn your daughter that the minute she “starts up” at the store, you’ll take her right home. Then do it, even if you’ve only been in the store five minutes. She will be shocked at how fast she finds herself back home. She’ll be unlikely to try her yelling trick again — though she may have other moves up her little sleeve.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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