You’re not alone on journey of self-discovery

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am bisexual. I was in love with another woman for half the summer, and now I’m not. How can that be? I thought she was perfect for me, and now a great guy has come along, and I’m in love with him.

I don’t mean to sound weird, but that’s how my crazy feelings are. I’m 17 now and in Grade 12 this fall. Maybe I’ll be totally different when I’m older. My parents just shake their heads and smile — they are no help at all. They are open-minded people, but they don’t totally get me, and they don’t seem to worry about it. I’m a weirdo with a new idea about who I should be every month.

My grandma, an old hippie, says she loves me the way I am, and with all my changes. The problem is I just don’t “get” me either, and I can’t talk to anybody else about me. She says it will “all come clear” in the end, but I’m not so sure about that.

— Totally Confused, West Kildonan

Dear Confused: Some personal quandaries do resolve themselves over time as you experience more and learn about yourself and your wants and needs.

However, others don’t resolve quite so easily. If you feel distressed over decisions you face, seek counselling through your high school rather than suffering alone.

Another great option is the Rainbow Resource Centre’s Youth Program. According to the organization’s website, programming focuses on fostering resilience, increasing self-esteem and self-confidence while building social networks, contacts and peer support among LGBTTQ+ youth and young adults. For more information, visit rainbowresourcecentre.org. Good luck on your journey of self-discovery.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my old dog like a member of my family. But my new girlfriend apparently just pretended she loved dogs to get with me.

Now that we’ve been together for a bit, she no longer wants my little dog in the bedroom at night. She wants her shut out of our bedroom at all times, even when we won’t be making love. My dog sits and whines pitifully at the door.

My girlfriend also doesn’t want the dog to sit in the middle spot in my car because she says it interferes with our conversation and closeness. Fair enough, but she doesn’t even want her in the back seat now. My dog loves to have her head out the window to feel the wind.

And that’s not all. When I get home from work is my dog’s favourite time of day. When she hears my keys jingle, she runs for the door to go anywhere with me. Now my girlfriend insists my pooch isn’t welcome with us on our summer evening drives and activities.

Last night she said, “You’re taking me out, not that dog.” That was it. I took her home to her apartment in silence. Did I over-react? I just lost the best sex partner I ever had. But then again, I haven’t had many.

— Deflated Dog-Lover, South St. Vital

Dear Dog-Lover: Not to worry, my friend. Now that you’ve had some practice, get out there and search for a winning romantic partner — possibly in situations where there are lots of dog owners.

Winnipeg spaces that welcome dogs and their owners in good numbers include nine community centres and 15 parks listed online on the City of Winnipeg’s website.

Now you and Fido can really enjoy your evenings, as well as meeting new friends and their happy dogs. Enjoy the new hunt.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Festival season is winding down and I’m hoping to get my boyfriend — a volunteer-obsessed man — back into my arms full time. Last year we had a problem with this. He was exhausted, but also so used to constant entertainment that he couldn’t be satisfied with a normal weekend social life.

For the month of September he was still going full-tilt six nights a week with people from various festivals. He wanted me to come out with him all the time.

I can’t live like that, although he can. We’re both teachers and I’m always exhausted during the first month back at school with the kids. How can we work something out?

—Want Him to Slow Down, Osborne Village

Dear Slow Down: Your message to him should be, “Go for it and enjoy your friends.” You don’t have to be with him constantly, as he gears down from his busy summer.

The trick is to let him do his thing, as he gradually comes down from the volunteering buzz.

Join him for some fun on the weekends, but for the weekdays, just say, “I’ll be here relaxing and looking forward to seeing you later.”

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography