Don’t be so hard-line on nude tanning routine

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/05/2024 (866 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was excited to get sunshine back and get out in my yard among my bushes — and start my all-over tan. I’m famous in my tennis group for my dark tans and white outfits. Unfortunately, a new family moved in next door during the winter and now those kids are outside until dark, yelling and making a huge racket.

The dad is making an even bigger disturbance with his friends and their tools and loud music. His work buddies are over almost every night, working on a giant tree house they are building. I overheard the happy loudmouth host telling his friends they are all invited to bring their brats over to play any time during the summer.

Here’s the other big problem: that tree house is in an old, extremely tall tree, which looks right over my fence into my yard. I’m losing all my privacy, and I can’t have that when I’m a sunbather.

I went over there in a huff yesterday and requested the father to cease and desist. His face turned red and he said that he had heard about me and I should put up a screen so his kids wouldn’t see me tanning naked.

Then he closed the door in my face. I asked a cop friend of mine what I should do and he agreed with the screen idea. Why should I have to do this when I own my house and my lot? God knows I paid enough for it and this is outrageous. What can I do?

— Losing Privacy I Paid For, Westwood

Dear Losing Privacy: Yes, you do own your house, out-buildings and back and front yards, but sadly for you that ownership does not extend to the air and sightlines. Airplane pilots and their passengers, people on hot-air balloon rides, different kinds of workmen climbing tall poles — all of them can certainly look down and see you.

It’s time to give up. All it takes is two strips of cloth. Buy a bikini for the summer of 2024. Either that, or invest in a fabric or even wood-slat screen. If you don’t like the sounds of the kids playing, turn up your own tunes or put on some headphones.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-wife has moved back to Winnipeg. I really want her to go back to the U.S. because she just can’t be far enough away.

We share no children and she has no reason to contact me, but she has called me three times this week because she has no friends left here. I know she’s drinking again.

She claims she quit and cleaned up her act, but I don’t believe her, and a million sorries couldn’t begin to make up for the way she abused me.

I don’t know where to turn, but I will call the police if I have to to keep her away. I’m already losing sleep and she made a wreck out of me before.

What can I do to stop it before this happens? I used to love her, but no longer. I thought I could handle this if it happened, but I can’t. Please help.

— Not Going There Again, St. Norbert

Dear Not Going There Again: Al-Anon’s groups for friends and families of alcoholics (al-anon.org) can give you the kind of support you need at this time. They will share their knowledge, experience and strength to help you fend off your abusive ex and regain your equilibrium.

Do not hesitate to make contact, as you are quickly feeling a loss of control now that your ex-wife is back in the city and bombarding you again.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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