Slow down, consider fallout from family bombshell

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/07/2024 (814 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I found out one of my siblings does not share the same father with us. My sister and I overheard it at our family cabin when my mother and aunt thought we were asleep and were talking. Apparently my mother had another man when my dad was working out of town for long stretches.

The man was a family friend and we all know him. He doesn’t live in this province anymore. We’re grown up now in our early 20s so I guess this is unfortunately our secret to hide too.

It’s really bothering me and my sister. What should we do with this upsetting secret?

— Unhappy Knowledge, central Manitoba

Dear Unhappy Knowledge: If you’re close with your mother, talk with her about this when you’re alone and the big emotions can come out and be dealt with privately.

You’ll certainly want to know if your other siblings already know and if they want it kept secret. That may depend on how young and how sensitive they are, and how it will affect them when certain other people find out.

Tread carefully. Not every family secret has to be broadcast.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m sick about going to the Winnipeg Folk Festival this year, as I’m in deep trouble.

Last year my girlfriend refused to go with me because she hates crowds, getting sunburned plus a pile of other flimsy excuses. I was mad. We broke up over it and I went with a friend instead.

We took two tents and had a blast. We met some really fun women, including a special lady from Regina who slept in my tent.

Her girlfriend took my buddy into her tent nearby — so it really worked for everybody.

Today, my 2023 festival love phoned. She says she’s suddenly able to get off work and will be coming back to see me.

I couldn’t be happier — but then there’s the problem of my new girlfriend from here, whom I started dating two months ago. What can I do?

Should I tell her I don’t want her at the festival with me? I don’t think she is my forever love.

My festival girl from Regina is the one I still dream about at night and I think I may be halfway in love with her.

At least, I would like a chance to get to know. But how do I tell my new girlfriend that? She’ll want to kill me. Help.

— Mixed Up, Charleswood

Dear Mixed Up: Here’s what would really “kill” you — taking your new girlfriend to the folk fest and being forced to walk past your still-interested lady love from last summer.

You would know she was dying to jump into your arms, and you would want her to, but your hands would already be full.

It’s high time you freed yourself — so break up with your local mate now and save her (and you) any potential heartbreak and drama at the festival.

A person’s got to keep their passion standards up when looking for the “Big L.” If you choose to get together with last year’s folk fest lover again, you may be guaranteed another wonderful, memorable time — and it may grow in other ways too, in time.

Then hopefully, you two might become brave and resourceful enough to find a way to get together beyond the festival.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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